It is not a big choice to make - to acknowledge someone's birthday with a card or not, but when the circumstances around it are taken into consideration, it can feel much more significant and important to 'do the right thing.' Well, for me the right thing is to send it! I am very fond of the recipient, and although they are no longer in my life, I cannot help but remember their birthday and want to send some genuinely warm wishes to them, from my heart. I have been re-reading The 4 Agreements by Don Luis Ruiz, and these are:
- be impeccable to your word.
- don't take things personally.
- don't make assumptions.
- always do your best.
So how did I decide whether to send the card or not? I took these all into consideration, and acted in the way I feel sits the best with me, no-one else. I could worry about whether they will want to get a card from us - what they will say - what they will do with it - get upset if they wish I hadn't done it - so many thoughts can enter our minds when we worry about what to do based on others perceptions and opinions. In the end, all that matters is that my conscience tells me I followed my heart, I was true to my word, and I did my best.
I also applied the 10-10-10 rule, which I picked up somewhere on the internet recently and can see how it might be useful for me. Just ask yourself, when faced with a decision, small or large, how will I feel about it in 10 minutes time, 10 months time or 10 years from now. Some answers are immediately obvious just from thinking about 10 minutes ahead; others have their full impact in months or even years later. It works for me on every level, from tiny to huge decisions, simple to complex, practical and fantastical!!