Les Mis Trailer

Sunday, 30 May 2010

IF....by Rudyard Kipling.

IF you can keep your head when all about you
Are losing theirs and blaming it on you,
If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you,
But make allowance for their doubting too;
If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,
Or being lied about, don't deal in lies,
Or being hated, don't give way to hating,
And yet don't look too good, nor talk too wise:

If you can dream - and not make dreams your master;
If you can think - and not make thoughts your aim;
If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster
And treat those two impostors just the same;
If you can bear to hear the truth you've spoken
Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,
Or watch the things you gave your life to, broken,
And stoop and build 'em up with worn-out tools:

If you can make one heap of all your winnings
And risk it on one turn of pitch-and-toss,
And lose, and start again at your beginnings
And never breathe a word about your loss;
If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew
To serve your turn long after they are gone,
And so hold on when there is nothing in you
Except the Will which says to them: 'Hold on!'

If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,
' Or walk with Kings - nor lose the common touch,
if neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you,
If all men count with you, but none too much;
If you can fill the unforgiving minute
With sixty seconds' worth of distance run,
Yours is the Earth and everything that's in it,
And - which is more - you'll be a Man, my son!
Having lain awake most of the night thinking about what I wanted to say, battling with my own darker emotions in order to be the better man, this poem suddenly came to mind as I showered this morning. It is one of my very favourites because I truly believe that it sums up man's condition beautifully.
It tells about our frailties and our capacity to chose for good and evil - how man can be a monster when he wants to be, but how it is also possible to rise above all adversities and be the better person.
Why yesterday when a woman came to me in the car park asking if I could change 5 euros for her, and I couldn't, that I gave her my ticket to use instead.
Why people tread over other people's feelings with feet of lead instead of just taking another step to the side and leaving them alone.
Why we chose to protect our loved ones with all our might so that they may be safe.
Why we give our very last ounce if it means someone else can live.
Why we sometimes just have to be patient and wait for the right moment to act because if we don't, the consequences of those actions will be beyond our comprehension and will result in something far removed from the plan one had in mind.
Why we have to be true to our inner voice, to remain the person we know we are under any circumstances, and not give in to wrongful thoughts and actions.
It takes incredible willpower and strength, make no mistake about that!! But without this creed, who are we? What makes us better than any other species? Where does the difference lie between man and beast? Why should man inherit the earth if he is incapable of caring for it?..............
So I am a philosopher at heart. I know I am. I think deep and sometimes impossible thoughts about so many things, and I search for the answers in the dark recesses of my mind. I get lots wrong! But it doesn't stop me questioning who I am and what my purpose on this earth, in this life, is. I think I know......................and although it doesn't make it any easier knowing, it steers my path and makes the road less travelled the one I have to take.
Sue xx

Friday, 28 May 2010

That was the week that was.......

........as the TV series claims!! And what a week we have had here. I am sorry that I can't talk too much about everything that is happening but I feel these are difficult times and what I am experiencing at the moment are things too private to share with a wider public. And since I can only guess at whom some of that public might be, I think 'mums the word', don't you?!!!
Expressions like 'don't jump the gun' do however have strong meaning for me right now as does the age-old saying 'it's not over until the fat lady sings.' So my life is moving forward but it is taking twists and turns I didn't anticipate and problems are arising that ought not to, and all that sort of stuff is going on, so bear with me, and when I can disclose the future ( when I've bought my crystal ball, that is) you'll be the first to know!!!
Hope your days are better than mine!
Sue xx

Monday, 24 May 2010

new style blog

...........just playing around with a new background and header; nice, eh?
Sue xx

Bank holiday weekend

The sun has shined gloriously over the bank holiday here so I have indulged in some garden-time, and by that I mean sitting in it doing nothing!!! Yesterday my friend came over in the afternoon and we went cycling round the dyke - my usual route - and it was so peaceful and warm, we just poottled along slowly meeting many other cyclists or bikers or walkers or kids heading for the lake. Most enjoyable! Of course I had been busy in the mornings, packing our stuff up and washing and all the other chores that are best done early doors before one goes off the idea! We had dinner out in the garden which was great, and this evening I am going somewhere with Tim as an 'end of school' treat. Tomorrow is the reality check of back to work, both of us, and the routines of everyday life...............good whilst it lasted though!!!!
Sue xx

Saturday, 22 May 2010

Blast from the past!!

Amazing what photoshop can do to repair really old, faded photos. These two are of me taken in Holland in 1977 when I spent a great holiday with Clare here. Looks as though I was enjoying myself anyway!! And I suspect this is the last ever photo taken of me wearing a bikini........I remember it well; green with white polka dots all over it! I can see that I am still wearing the silver bangle on my wrist that I wear to this day - had it since I was eleven actually. Ah...'those were the days, my friend, we thought they'd never end, we'd sing and dance for ever and a day'.
Sue xx

Saturday morning

Up at the crack of dawn after rather a sleepless and short night ( or so it felt!) to get Tim off to work on his bike today! Fortunately there was no wind at the time and it was looking like a promising day.....but by 9.56 as I write this, it is windy and cloudy and nowhere near as lovely as yesterday! I am going singing shortly as we rehearse for the biggy on 2 June..............so hope to have some sort of voice today that hits the high notes I am required to sing solo!!!!.....just the odd topB or so...........yikes!! Can't do it repeatedly but on the odd occasion that I am not feeling constricted in my throat through worrying that I can't get the note perfectly pitched it happens.
More importantly I just wanted to say a huge thank you to all my friends who have been fantastically supportive this week and made such a difference to how I have coped. Couldn't do it without you guys, I know that for certain, so lots of love, and a big hug for everyone!
Sue xx

Friday, 21 May 2010

Getting in the mood...........

So that there is no doubt about where our loyalties lie this football competition, and to convince any doubting Thomas's we may know who fail to share our opinion about this, here is the wonderful world of Wayne Rooney!!! It was made for the previous world cup 4 years ago but hey, he is still out there doing his thing for England!!!! So switch on the sound, sit back and enjoy.
Sue xx

Monday, 17 May 2010

Feeling sorry for myself!

Ouch!! I have a throbbing headache because I took a tumble in the garden this afternoon, and hit my head and cut my knee and hurt my wrist and scratched my foot................and now I feel very sorry for myself because I don't usually do this sort of thing and I am not used to it!! I guess by tomorrow I will be right as a bobbin again. Aah..............
Sue xx

Almost time!

Tim's first exam starts just after one o'clock so he is taking his shower now. My nerves are starting to show!!! My tummy goes into knots and I get stomach cramps when I am nervous and that is what I am feeling now! I took his friend to school this morning for his first exam and that was fine; no nerves, but once I got home again they started in ernest! I am sure it will be fine and go well and I have nothing to worry about, so it is all silliness I guess, but it is still our boy and I am still nervous for him! I even had to go out and buy Rolo's!!!!
Sue xx

Sunday, 16 May 2010


So last night we went to watch Robin Hood, as you know.
But what was it like?.....we all enjoyed it, however it was very quickly apparent that this was written to have a sequel, and that the true legend of Sherwood Forest starts in the next film. We got to see how Robin came home from the French wars and crusades. We saw John get the throne, and how useless he was as a King. We saw the way the country was divided into north and south, and how the poverty of England drove men to extreme methods of cruelty as well as survival. It was corny in places, true, and certainly the romance between Robin and Marion was completely understated and not really tantalising enough but it was watchable and a good boost for English morale!!! In the end we all love a story where good triumphs over evil; and this fits the bill. The 3 lads enjoyed it as it was an action spectacular at times, but we ladies would have liked a little more manliness shall we say?!!!!!
Sue xx

Saturday, 15 May 2010

Just because......

......I really love this tag!!! And the colours and the sentiment and the design and............check them out over at Tim Holtz's wonderful blog!
Sue xx


Getting up so early gives me so much extra time in the morning on a Saturday, so although it is now only 9.52am, I feel as though it is much later in the day! I am going to colour my hair shortly. Too much grey showing through and not enough colour!! Not that I am vain or anything; just not ready for being white! Actually I am pretty much convinced that if I were to wait one more year, then it would be that far - and then I don't mind. It is this salt 'n pepper look I am no fan of I guess. Since getting it cut, it is showing through more and more, so I finally decided I had the time for it this morning, so hey, why wait?!! I am sure I will feel much better for it too.
Maybe it is the season for restlessness, being spring, but I am noticing the change in me more and more. My head is more peaceful and once I have caught up on my sleep, I think the rest of me will settle down. I flipped through some of the books last night - and decided I'd stick with my Midnight's Children by Salam Rushdie as that is not so demanding............just a tad less, right? I started reading it at Clare's, but since getting back home it has lain dormant beside the bed, and I have neglected it sadly. I am sure I will be able to tick it off the top 100 books that one is supposed to have read, once I have got to the end, but until then it remains an ambition and not a given. And I have got a huge novel lying under this one, that I want to read next........it is going to have to be on a reward system I can see; one text book for one novel!!!!
This evening it's the turn of Robin and his merry men! I am looking forward to it. When we were at the cinema the other night there were quite a lot of people going to watch it, so I am expecting it to be quite busy. Luckily we are going to the early showing, so I won't have to drive back in the dark!!! Wonder what the soundtrack to the movie is like?..................
Sue xx

Friday, 14 May 2010

Strange day........

It feels rather 'bitty' today, don't know why? Seem to be doing stuff but not getting anywhere fast!
And having just been to the hairdressers I feel like a tornado whipped through my hair with a pair of lightning scissors, hacked the back off and said cheerio within ten seconds flat! Whoa!! It was not my usual hairdresser, I hasten to add who is on holiday at the moment. So another place was recommended to me at choir on Wednesday, so I decided to try them out. I have yet to reach a decision about whether I like the cut or not.............the jury is still out on this one!
I have been packing small treasures from out of the cupboards as well, and cleaning the house the way I like it to be done, and just pottering around. I did go to the WFB for a wander around but got distracted by a phone call that ended my little meanderings rather abruptly. To do with choir. Advice given and hopefully taken; ideas shared.
And now the sun is out and my books have arrived, and having seen the size of them I know why the other part of the course is the one I am going to enjoy most!!!! HUGE!!!! I had forgotten what it is like to want to study for something - been too many years since I did my management degree; 15 in fact! But here I am at another crossroads in my life, so I am determined to bite the bullet and get this new qualification under my belt this year. So, time to get into the garden with a little glass of something summery ( pimms ) and take a flick through the various chapters and decide where I want to start!
Sue xx

Mother and son stuff

Tim and I went to see Ironman 2 last night. We did the whole 9 yards of McDonalds first and then the film.............women were heavily outnumbered in our screen showing but hey, it was not as bad as some films I know where there is no story, no humour and no dialogue! Actually Robert Downey Jn. is brilliant as Stark and the part was made for him, really. It was noisy at times with all that iron clashing etc but there were moments that were funny and interesting and narrative and it was fine. I survived! The cinema was absolutely chokker though, people everywhere as in the McDonalds next door.Seems everyone wanted to see a film and eat junk food yesterday!!! A typical bank holiday activity in bad weather! But this morning the sun is out already and it feels warmer so I am hopeful of a lovely day.
Lots to do too! I have to get my new driving licence this morning and then make a hair appointment for the end of the month, and do the shopping, and ironing and general packing of more boxes etc. Hoping todays the day I get my books from Amazon.........I know they've been posted. I want to go and smooch around the Westfriesbeurs too some time soon.........just to look and see whether they have anything interesting in there at the moment. It sort of replaces garden centre mooching since I have no garden to buy plants for yet!! I was so good yesterday and sorted out all my administration - and Tim's - so that is one task done with for this month, so I feel entitled to a more relaxed day today. AND I am sleeping finally!!! Yes, things are lessening and I am getting through the night okay at last. Wonderful. Best therapy I can think of: Sleep.
Sue xx

Thursday, 13 May 2010


Ok, I know I didn't want to see Ironman 2 but we are going this evening!! Tim was keen so we looked at the trailer and it seems bearable! And I have booked our tickets for Saturday and Robin Hood. Having grown up with Richard Greene in the role, and watching the series fanatically as a child, I just have to see it! Even the theme tune from the series has stayed in my head............could sing it for you if you like?!!!! ;-) And I love the look of the film Crazy Heart.......happy days!!!
Sue xx

Ascension Day

It is a bank holiday here in Holland so we are all free!! The weather promises to improve over the weekend so I am hoping so as it was so cold and wet the last few days - brr!! And I haven't got to work again until next Thursday! I was saved from insanity yesterday afternoon thank goodness, otherwise I think I would have been ga-ga by this morning.............thanks!
I did manage to struggle to choir practice too but chose to sit and sing all evening instead of the usual up and downing as each part takes their turn. It was so nice to get back home and collapse in bed, and YES! I finally got through a night without having to get out once!! Such a relief, but it is not over..................so my plan today is to do quiet things here and not venture too far away. A pity my new books haven't arrived as I really fancied sitting on the sofa and indulging in several hours reading material.
Only 7 weeks until my holiday with Jackie - wow! It is creeping up on me fast now, and I am so looking forward to it. Just what the doctor ordered, eh? Wonder whether all the cold and rain we are having now will mean we get the right weather in July?.............Could do....
Well, I am rambling a little this morning but that is only because I have to get started and so far I am being incredibly lazy and slow. Time to reserve our seats for Robin Hood this Saturday I think!
Sue xx

Todays thought.

"Circumstance does not make me,

it reveals me."

{ william james }

Wednesday, 12 May 2010

My famous great uncle's book!

Whilst in England this time I managed to order a copy of my uncle's autobiography which I found on Amazon. I once read it from the library when I was quite young but no-one in the family has got it I believe. So here it is! Nizefela was a superb horse and I can remember visiting him when he was old at my uncles home in Cheshire.......going back a bit now though!
He was captain of the English Show Jumping Team in those days..........Wilf White on Nizefela. The horse had a great character and he used to flick his heels back as he jumped.
Anyway, I am taking it to work this morning to show one of my clients who has horse-riding lessons 'cos she doesn't believe me!!!!! :-)
Sue xx

Tuesday, 11 May 2010

Rain, rain, go away....

come again another day! Do you know that poem? It is raining so hard right now, this evening, that I doubt the coming days will be as nice as they say. I am still working so hard, and another day still to go..........but I have bought cookies as promised, and it will be fine. I am only working one day next week and I am happy about that as Tim has his final exams all week, and I want to be around.
Whats new?....nothing much I guess. I feel great most of the time, and very positive about our future which is fine, and I really enjoyed being with the clients these last 4 days. That centre feels like mine now........even though it really isn't!! I am feeling great about my course that I am planning to start in October, about the books I am about to start reading, about being ME. Finally.
Sue xx

Sunday, 9 May 2010

Mother's Day

I have enjoyed my cuppa in bed, with Tim and both our cats, and am now thinking about what else I can do today! Whilst browsing the blogs regularly follow, I came upon this quote by Mother Theresa about openness and honesty.
I have always said of myself that I wear my heart on my sleeve, and what you see is what you get regarding my emotions. I cannot hide them away or act in any other way than the way I am feeling at that moment. So I cry easily, feel deeply, scare in a second, love with all my heart, wound instantly, suffer sensitivities constantly...............and care for all. And so much more!! It does not make my life easy or simple; quite the contrary in fact! But it does allow me to be true to myself and take responsibility for my actions, and it has given me the burden/gift of a really ever-present and demanding conscience.
It is my sister's 49th birthday today. I visited her with Clare last week and it was a heart-wrenching experience. Despite having her Liver transplant in March, progress is minute and she is fading fast. It is as much her responsibility as anything else, and this makes it harder to bear, but it is my opinion that she has to accept her situation and deal with her past if she has any hope of a future. I wish I was there for her, but I am not, I am here and I have to work with the things in my own life that are evolving and developing and shaping, and I can only support her from a distance. She is like a wounded animal waiting by the side of the road, knowing that two things can happen: she can be run over and killed outright or she can be rescued by a passer-by who stops and cares enough to take the burden on. For this to happen, you have to cry out for help or be noticed, or tell someone of your distress, and I am afraid she is doing none of these things. She has people, family and professionals who are all trying to help her, that I do know, but there is a mist between them that prevents Jo from seeing that they are there for her and really do care enough to help her....and it breaks my heart to see my sister this way. I just wanted to say this this morning, thanks.
Sue xx

Thought for the day

"Honesty and transparency make you vulnerable.

Be honest and transparent anyway."

{ mother teresa }

Saturday, 8 May 2010

infection hurts!

Ouch, the swelling from the bite I got last Tuesday whilst in the garden is now ENORMOUS!! The whole of my left foot is red hot and puffy and tight and hurts like heck!!! I've got a plaster on the weeping part as it was so nasty otherwise, and it is spreading up my leg now too..........I think health-wise I leave a lot to be desired this week!!
Loes has just collected Tim's cakes that he has baked and decorated; his first ever real fondant-iced creations, so he was pleased that they were ok for her. I think he found it more demanding that he expected, and certainly more time-consuming, but we are learning as we go, and it will get easier each time. At least he has a steady hand!!!! Give me scraps of paper over icing any day though; it is not my thing at all!! Loes brought him her famous and much in demand meatballs so that means I have it easy too this evening as supper just arrived!! Enough for two, so thanks Loes!! Y'know we love 'em!!!
The rain finally stopped so I did nip out for essential shopping but everywhere I went there were queues of men all buying MOTHER'S DAY presents and flowers etc. Nice that they do it, but it meant a lot longer wait than usual in the shops! Luckily Tim was all organised and he has something for me, I know, and I had my card from Becci when it was the English Mothering Sunday and that is still on the mantelpiece. I'm hoping for at least a cup of tea in the morning!!!
Finka is stealing roses again, so I have moved them from their nice vase into another one in the kitchen, and surrounded it with various other things to make it more difficult for her to attack! First Xander with his tulip-slaying tendencies and now Finka with roses............and I do so love the Peonies that are in the shop now!! Would she eat them too? They look a bit like roses........worried. I do adore them when they are available, and always love to have them in the house. I suppose I will just have to try; and watch Finks like a hawk!!! What is it with my cats and flowers?????
I was just asked to accept someone on my skype address which was a total surprise, and although I did hesitate before accepting, I suppose it was not nice to refuse. It's a long story, but this guy is someone I've known for years and years, and it has been a sort of love-hate relationship of sorts: and that because he is so unreliable and I just hate that!!I seem to recall telling him last time that I would never answer a request to talk from him ever again after he had not replied to the last one I sent: I suspect he just likes to check up on me every now and again and find out what status I have and whether it is interesting or not!!!! Probably a bit harsh on him, but then again, that is my experience with this guy, so I am calling it as I see it boyo! At a guess I would say I haven't heard from him for 3 years or more?.......strange; but I suppose he must be out there looking for me still, to have bothered to ask me to skype...........last time he had tracked me down via the Friends site. So if you are wondering who I mean( Becci); it's the chap who gave you Spot!!!! ;-)
Sue xx

My darling girl

Becci and Heathcliff saying HELLO! Becci in her red shoes for her fairytale birthday party. Love the look, sweetie! xx This is my daughter with all her exuberance and joy showing to the world what a wonderful girl she is......aaah!! No wonder all her students think she is the bees-knees as their teacher....
Sue xx

Saturday morning

Shame that it is raining this morning seeing that it is the Jazz Festival in Enkhuizen this weekend, and the bands play in the town today!! I haven't been for a couple of years now, and was thinking about going along today, but not any more!
I have got an infected foot. I was bitten the other day whilst sitting in the garden and it is not getting any less itchy or red or swollen and now my foot is completely pumped up with the infection and it hurts quite a lot! I wonder whether I can even get my shoes on........at the moment I have only got my Birkenstocks on, as I just took Tim to work, and it is only just after 7am. Going to be fun! I do have to go into Hoorn however as we need more icing for the cakes. Tim has used the colours he bought for the one cake and there is not enough for the other one, so mum to the rescue!! So I think it will be a quick in and out if this rain continues..................
Sue xx

Thursday, 6 May 2010

....what can I say? .......

I'm a sucker for a hero!!! And always for Robin Hood, really, as he is my kind of guy - or would have been if I had lived in those times.......lambs into lions, Richard the Lionheart 'n all that stuff!!! And if you've ever seen the Great Oak in Sherwood Forest, then you'd have to believe in the legend, but even more so if you are English perhaps....but I could convince you since we saw the Prince of Thieves together all those years ago, right?!!!! If I tried hard enough maybe?????
I am not having much success uploading more photos unfortunately so I am going to try again now, before I go to bed, as I have been singing and thoroughly enjoyed myself this evening, and the cakes are going well, so only the icing on them to tackle tomorrow............looks harder than I thought but Tim is confident I believe...so here goes: It worked!! Here are some lovely shots of the gardens at Leonardslee in Sussex.
All the beauty of the English countryside in full bloom - " oh to be in England now that spring is here!" You can see why it is my favourite time to visit!!!!
Sue xx

Wednesday, 5 May 2010

sunny start

At last the sun is shining and our bank holiday morning is looking promising! I was woken early, at 7, so here I am browsing the net and blogging whilst I wait for the towel to warm up so I can dip into the shower!! Hate cold towels!!! And I have been busy. Nothing like the germ of an idea to get me going folks and I am starting the germination process off by ordering some books from Amazon this morning! MORE BOOKS TO READ......got to be a bonus in my world, so all good so far. I have been thinking about what to do with my life next, bit like Katy as in 'What Katy did next" if you've read the series................used to love these stories as a child (I digress of course); so my plan is to start building up my library resources and search the net for appropriate studies, and get started! Right now I don't want to be more explicit about what it is I think I want to do......this is a public site and therefore anyone can read it, and for me, my choices are more private and personal and not something I want to share with everyone who might read my blog. Once I am convinced that this is the course I intend to follow, then sure, I can discuss it more freely. People who know me will already have an inkling about what I am going to do anyway, so for now that is enough for me. Once I am through to the next stage in my growing process, I will feel even more confident I am doing the right thing for myself, at the right time, and for the right reasons!! All three are important, right?!!! :-)
I am also reading a superb book right now called THE POSTMISTRESS. I really do recommend it you. It is about the blitz in London and some radio broadcasts and letters and how it affects some people in small town America so much, that their lives cross.........but I am only just getting to that point so am surmising about what I think is going to happen next! I see the threads being woven together now I am about half way, but the real interest of the story is only just coming together. I bought it at Gatwick along with another book, so I have plenty to be getting on with after two trips to the UK in recent times! I was talking to my friend about our week in the Lakes last night too, and planning a spa day for ourselves whilst we are there. Sounds wonderful, but we do need to book soon otherwise there is no chance of getting what we want booked in simultaneously. But just thinking about the hot tub in the serenity garden, and delicious lunch in the neighbouring hotel was wetting our appetite!!! Roll on July!!!
Hey ho, time to get up and on with this day. No good thinking too far ahead when there is much to do this morning here where I am now!
Sue xx

Tuesday, 4 May 2010

My week in pictures: bit by bit!!!

Clare looking the part in the garden! I am so glad I took one shot in B&W and especially this one as it is perfect for the mood I think. Clare and I being 'ladies who lunch' in the Siam Thai Restaurant in Little Common, where she lives. It was a really delicious meal and we were the only customers so a private do, as they say! Our Thelma and Louise experience was great! Clare drove brilliantly all the way down to Deal, including down to the Bay which is tricky at the best of times, and Martyns car was never in any danger at all! Very exotic we were!!!! A gal has to keep warm and Clare did so with this hat!! I was bundled up rather like the Sheik of Arabee.....in my blue scarf and under a blanket on my knees, but we went there and back with the hood down, so the weather was on our side. Sally and I down at the Coastguard at St Margarets Bay, after we had enjoyed super fish 'n chips and were onto the coffees. The fact that they were serving New Zealand wine - my all time favourite - was just the icing on the cake!!!!
Sue xx

Monday, 3 May 2010

First photos

Hi, I'm back again, and starting to adjust to real life after an absolutely fabulous week with Clare and the rest. Here we are in the gardens of Leonardslee, me having run up and down the slope several times trying to set the flash! This is us in 1977, in Holland just before my life changed................. ......and here are Clare, Peter and Carole in the Trat. in Bexhill, after lunch on Sunday and prior to me flying home again. I have tons more, but these are the first ones I decided to put up as I am now really, really tired having worked today, and with a full week ahead. Why oh why do I plan holidays with lots of work tagged onto the back of them I wonder?!!!!
Sue xx