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Wednesday, 30 March 2011

Changing the face of my CV

Not without a lot of help so thank you for that!!! It was a case of find it, dust it down, translate it, move it around a bit, tweak and twist the language and make me sound as good as it can get!!! And now fingers crossed I guess.
I used to be so much more confident about going for interviews when I was younger and still in the UK. I knew I was always qualified for the job I wanted; I knew I presented well and communication was no problem, and I always got the job! So a 100% success rate and a very happy career behind me. Then it all changed in 2000 when we moved here. No-body wanted me; I didn't have the language; I missed my team dreadfully and all my friends and family and  I felt terribly homesick for such a long time. The jobs I did get were not my thing and I lost a lot of confidence in the first one because of the way one member of the team treated everyone else. It undermined our team spirit and caused many problems which had I been feeling on top of my game, would have been handled much better than I did at the time. Then I had another one which I did like, but which led to illness when I discovered that I had Asthma after two years of continually getting chest infections etc. There followed a whole re-integration programme and tests and you name it, I did it sort of thing, until I finally hit rock bottom: I went for two interviews so they obviously like me, for a job I was perfect for, only to be told that I was the best qualified, the most suitable but my voice and accent might not be good enough for people to understand me after all!!!! I was devastated as you can imagine, especially after getting through both rounds of the process, and since then, I have found it really hard to put myself back into a vulnerable position within work. It has taken three years to accept what I do, and value it enough not to want more, but it is not feeding the family and I cannot ignore that. So, as you can see, placing myself out there again is more than a little scary!! I feel torn - conflicted is the word of choice actually - because I know what I am capable of doing, yet have a zero belief that anyone is going to see that when I compete for different jobs. I don't want to resurrect all that insecurity within me once again.
But then again, without risk there is no gain, so I suppose I am talking myself into it slowly but surely, and wondering what the best way of coping with it is going to be................I am trying to find my very own action-oriented prevention mentality!!!! ;-) Hurrah for Egan!!! I know the theory chaps, now I have to practice what I am hoping to preach, right?......
Sue xx

4 comments:

Jodilee said...

Thank you for writing this on your blog. I have lived here since 1999 and what you have written is exactly what has happened to me too. Loss of confidence through a bad experience at work, then reintegration after an accident and then a few unstable years in bad jobs ( for me)

I wish you every success in what you choose to do and just reading that i am not the only one that has struggled is quite a boost because there are times when I thought it was me even though as you say in our own land you'd been successful.

Once again good luck and by reading your blog I'd say if they don't take you it's their loss.
Jodie

Suzanne said...

thank you so much for this comment!! It is really hard putting ourselves out there isn't it? What happened to me that one time would never have been allowed in the UK as we are so much stricter in our processes, but it definitely dented my confidence badly. I have got great support this time around, which makes a huge difference, but all the same, I am very nervous. Glad to see you are still reading my blog as well!!!
Suzanne x

Yudith said...

Hola Sue, pasando a saludarte y en espaƱol! Compartiendo sentimientos a travez de nuestros blogs! Besos

Suzanne said...

thank you Yudith! xxx