admitting it to myself

I have to. I have to see things for how they truly are and not how I want them to be. I have to be realistic and sensible. I have to dismiss my dreams and listen to reality. I have to get this right. No more rose- coloured spectacles for me!! Its not my strong point, that's true. I'm a dreamer, a fatalist, a believer, a romantic, an optimist, a cup half full, proud sort of gal, but right now these are not the characteristics that are serving me the best!! I need to eat humble pie......................
Sue xx

yet another challenge to be faced!!

So, all my resourcefulness is being called in to play this month as we face another crisis in our self-sufficiency!! I am trying to be positive and see it as a lesson in frugality that is helpful in the world of financial doom and gloom we know as the world economy! I thought we were already at the living at the basic level but now we have to dig deeper and cut back even more drastically. Though why that gives me a gigantic headache as well, I do not know!! Thinking clearly is what I need to do and headaches don't help that much!
So, if I am absent for some days, it is because I am in the attic rooting around for items to part with, emptying the cupboards in the kitchen hoping to stumble across food items that I can use to create meals from scratch, and generally making lists of how to live on fresh air for a month!! It can be done, can't it?...

Here's what helps me: -
I have it on the bookshelf to remind  me.......

"Everything will be ok in the end. 

if it's not ok, then it's not the end."

Back home

Last night I collected Tim from the airport and enjoyed hearing all about his week with his sister and Ric. He certainly sounds as though he has had a great time! His suitcase was only 3 ounces below the 23kilo limit!!! But then it is a small suitcase according to him! And we'll need another before next year.............
He had brought me some Black Magic chocolates - because they were the ones my dad always put in my Christmas Stocking for years!! However, I have to say that the quality and the quantity in the box for the price you pay, is not good any more. What a disappointment!! I remember a long slim box with two layers in and stuffed full with delicious chocolates; this time there were far less flavours and one stingy layer of choccies - shame on the makers!! It felt like quite a rip-off actually.
Then I had some books - aah - and magazines - and the famous Dreamies for the cats!!! Apparently cats go crazy for these treats, and Genghis certainly did. Finka was more hesitant but once she had tried them she was making her little approving noises and munching delicately on one dreamy at a time. Geng just ate the handful in one go!!! I see more packets being added to my list, Ann!!!
Then there were the sweeties - Polos, Minstrels and Galaxy - yey! When will Holland start selling our favourites??! They really are delicious folks!
Well, I was awake bright and early this morning so now I am going to read my Country Living Mag and make notes of all the interesting articles and websites that are always in it, and see where my fantasies will take  me this morning.
Sue xx

Weekend feeling

lying in bed until after nine this morning was wonderful! It was hard to crank myself up and out of the cosiness of the many layers on top of me, but eventually I made it downstairs and out into the sunshine...Finka and I sat for a while, blue skies, sun peeking through - then a sudden shower with a dash of thunder hit us, we scampered back indoors, and now it is gorgeous out there!!!
I worked so hard in the gardens yesterday, that my poor old body was exhausted by the end of it. The scent of autumn is in the air - truly - so it was time to dig out some of the summer annuals ready for new plants for the coming seasons - yey! I don't like the inbetween time when there is bare soil and gaps between plants.............I love it when the borders are absolutely brimming with plants. But I pulled up the ones that needed to go, and tidied up some pots and moved one or two plants into better positions, and I'm ready. Well, one bed is. The other still looks fabulous so leaving that one alone for now. I got out into the front as well, but by the end of it my back was aching and my elbow was feeling the pain of  repetitious digging, so I gave up. Me and the Geng came back indoors and sat on the settee together and vegetated. Later on I made a delicious Pear & Ginger Cake as Jose came round in the evening for a natter. It was good using up ingredients I had in the larder etc as I am not particularly fond of pears generally speaking. I am up for an Apple Cake this week as I promised something for work on Thursday as a treat with our coffee! And since we are on the subject of my habit of forward planning ( yes, we are, you didn't realise it? ) I had time to make a little list of menus which I enjoy making for dinner occasions. I was going through my notebook in which I write my favourite recipes - ostensibly for when Tim leaves home and needs a cookery book - and decided that it required some menu recommendations. It's amazing how many times one goes back and chooses a certain recipe - it felt so warming to just be able to flip the CHRISTMAS DINNER MENU off the top of my head!!!! ( Ok, I'm scary...give you that!!! )
Ann is going to England next month; I think this is what is causing me to check out our store cupboard for those essential ingredients that one cannot buy here.............I like being prepared!!
Today is more about resting and enjoying being at home doing as little as possible. There are small tasks to be faced, but the sun is once more out and I feel like making the most of these last hazy days of summer before the sun sinks lower in the sky and the cobwebs become more abundant and the days get shorter - wonderful!!! Can't wait for the winter pansies to be bought!!!
Sue xx

Beautiful programme

last night on BBC 2 about the wildlife that lives in these beautiful gardens in Cornwall. It was really a total delight to watch, and has made me even more eager to visit them next year!! Last time we were in Cornwall we didn't have the opportunity to go there but I am going to ensure that THIS trip includes them!
Finka was fascinated. She sat on the edge of the coffee table and watched completely engrossed as the foxes and badgers and birds all paraded in front of her; the perfect birthday treat!!! She got up a few times and actually say right in front of the telly, wandered around to the back and back again, just checking whether she could get any closer or not - but brilliant to see her enjoying it so much, ha!ha!
Tonight its something different as I am indulging in a soppy movie 'The Lake House', so tissues at the ready!!!
Sue xx

House seems empty already!

Well, Tim has only been gone an hour and a half and already the house feels empty without him!!! Just that sense that you are all alone now..............he just rang and is at Schiphol finding his way around with all the new fangled equipment for checking in etc - so funny to hear him telling me about it all!! Anyway, he is sitting near his gate and just has to patiently wait until he gets called to board in about another hours time!!

So what are my plans whilst he is away?!! Work, work, work, hopefully garden if the weather holds in the weekend, work on my study.....nothing much else probably!!

I have got help with some advertising for my new practice wow, that sounds grander than it is!!! For the second year of my training I need to have lots and lots of client contact/work, and so I am trying to advertise for prospective clients both locally and via skype. Because I am a student still, I give my time for free, just need any costs to be paid if I need to travel anywhere etc. so it is a pretty good deal I'm offering! All I require is a signature on a certificate stating that I have completed the hours and been of benefit etc. So...........should you be interested, watch this space!! Ineke is working away at some super advertising material, which I know is going to be so cool - the text is our baby, and we are doing that both in English as well as Dutch, so that as many people as possible can be reached. It's feeling so good to be making real progress on my future career and learning so much in the doing. Thank you to everyone who is supporting me.xxx
Sue xx

Birthday girl

Finka is two years old today, Xander would have been ten today, so we are celebrating! She seemed delighted with her new ribbon which she immediately ran off with when I gave it to her. They are her favourite playthings, and you will find them lying around the house, or garden as she throws them about everywhere!! Genghis doesn't seem impressed - just headed straight for his spot on our bed as usual, without so much as a second whisker at Finka. The sun is out so she can have a day in the garden if Tim is willing to accommodate her wishes. Me? Another day at the office!!! Getting up early each morning is not normal - I like a day in between to recover! A busy one today, at two centres so lots to do and lots of clients so better be on my toes!
Sue xx

Today........

I heard some shocking news about a friend and its making me feel very sad and worried, so lets take a moment to appreciate all that we have to be grateful for, everyone. We are hoping for a positive outcome, and a full return to health, so I want to leave it there, and wait until we know more in the coming days. I was wondering why I was having such terrible trouble sleeping over the last few nights, but this would explain it. Sometimes I just know there is something happening that affects me in some way, shape or form, and whereas this time I was not able to focus in on the who and the what, I did have a sense of something tragic................I think tonight I will sleep better knowing what was going on and that it sounds hopeful.

I had a whole other host of things I was planning on writing about until I heard about this, but they are ordinary and insignificant by comparison so I am going to leave it there for todays post.
Sue xx

Sunday Morning

And I'm thinking recipes!! And I am fancying Coq Au Vin for dinner!!! I suppose the fact that Tim is going away this week is making me feel like cooking us a lovely sunday dinner -as opposed to lunch...his favourite pudding maybe...or another one we both like? We are going shopping anyway, and can decide when we see what there is in the supermarket. I was up early facing the ironing head on as it is not one of the chores I look forward to each week, but getting it out of the way before 9 is somehow more acceptable.
What is your least favourite chore to get done each week? My way of getting things done is to spread them out over the week so that there is never a whole lot to be done at any one time or day! I am not a spring-cleaner either; my moment of madness usually arrives at the end of the summer as I like to get the house in order before the autumn and winter arrive. Maybe I have a secret yearning for hibernation?....
But anyway, it's done and I can rest easy until he returns with a suitcase full of washing.

Yesterday I baked the Cinnamon and Orange Crisps that Tim had carefully laid open in the cookie book when I came downstairs on Friday. Have to say they are fiddly and time consuming with the waiting periods etc but have come out spectacularly deliciously!!! And there are not many left! I have bagged enough up for my ladies tomorrow as we are working away from the centre where there are no cookies for our coffee breaks and I always ensure I take some with me as a treat. Yummy!

I watched the film "Four Minutes" yesterday afternoon as I was sleepy and in need of a quiet sit down. It was good! So nice sometimes to watch a movie that has no bad language, no violence, no extreme examples of behaviour; no, a simply told story about Roger Bannister running the first 4 minute mile. Lovely.  And true which are the ones I prefer. Time to roll out my " Inn of the sixth Happiness" next weekend whilst Tim is away? Though I am convinced that my version has been edited and some things left out or changed as my memory tells me I am missing some scenes..............which is a shame as I prefer the original if I am being honest.

Well I can hear the cereal is almost eaten and Tim is dressed so we can go shortly. He looked sort of bemused when I suggested that he doesn't put his hoodie up when he is in England next week but he had told me that every time he arrives at the airport he gets questioned about who is meeting him and are they there already, and he feels they are suspicious about him travelling alone. In light of the current troubles, I think his idea of a fashion statement had better be less in evidence this time. A shame that this is my thinking right now, but one can never be too careful apparently. So, Becci & Ric - be on time please!!!
Sue xx