Interesting morning!

This morning I finally got around to meeting with someone from personnel to discuss the never-ending saga of applying for jobs and getting nowhere!! Ok, that was the pessimistic me speaking, but I do think it was a very positive step to take and I am very glad I did it. There! There is still hope for me.
It became apparent that one of the major obstacles in my way is my background and education. What I have in experience and qualifications is at odds with the level of jobs I apply for, so there are mixed expectations from both sides(apparently). So maybe I ought to aim higher instead of always going for the lower roles?...............the upshot of our meeting is that I have some people to contact and make appointments with and maybe that is the opening I have been missing all this time; you never know. I am feeling happy about it, excited that this is a step in the right direction, and optimistic once again.
(I definitely think my little 'pep-talk' this morning helped enormously so thank you for that)!! x
I went into town afterwards and treated myself to a healthy coffee and bagel; diet conscious so no cappuccino!! And bagels are low-fat too........and I do love a good bagel!! I think they will be on the birthday menu this year. With cream cheese...................yummy. And I fancy a Salad Nicoise this evening - I'm on a roll!!!
Sue xx

Diet.......

I started with good intentions yesterday and am pleased with my start! I have re-opened my diet diary as that really helped me last year. I find that keeping a note of how I am doing and what my mini goals are keeps me motivated. I have also decided to try a little Atkins this time. There are not enough products over here in comparison with England, but more are appearing in the supermarkets. I would do weight watchers if I could afford it, but there are no classes anywhere near me!! and the range of products in the shops is abysmal to be frank. I saw that M&S are also providing an excellent range of ready meals again, and theirs are always very good indeed. So I have  sent off for my free bar and the booklet and I will see how far this one gets me. Since we are both dieting and going about it in different ways, it will be interesting to see how we get on. Tim needs to do something too but he has not got the right mindset for it right now. Sport is the key for him as he loves to eat especially bread which is my 'allergy' and very bad for me, so I am keeping my fingers crossed that he starts playing basketball again this year........no pressure, son, but it would do you GOOD!!!! I am going to do the walking thing. 20 minutes every day is recommended. I ought to be able to manage that, surely?
It was back to school for Tim this morning so we were up early and he glumly went off for the morning. Not before he had complained and moaned and groaned about it on facebook, mind!!!
What am I doing today?
Washing, by the looks of the full baskets on the landing.
A walk around the block to buy tulips at the end of the street from my penny-pot of treats!
Make more cards for the year ahead now that I have got started on them.
Read some more gardening books and make lists!
Have a nice day folks!
Sue xx

Getting down to it:-

The new year and everything I'm thinking about doing this year that is!!!

A brand new year to live life fully, that is the promise that January 1st brings with it whether we are consciously aware of it or not. This is Leap Year of course so an additional day to do something! And it is the day after my birthday, and no, I was not born in a Leap Year, and yes, all men are aware of the proposal clause it brings with it: we women are most likely to propose to our man on this day than at any other time in the year. You have been warned chaps!!

This morning I finally got round to sorting out parts of the garden before it started to rain. I was glad I did as I saw the tulips were starting to show, and the plants that have died down over the autumn are not dead and just beginning to sprout new leaves and shoots. I do so hope we are over the frost and snow for this winter! It would be such a shame if these tender new plants were to be the target of the cold now that they are on their way towards being magnificent once again. I went outside in my slippers which is not a good thing, and it reminded me that I really do need to buy some gardening boots or clogs. Every year it crosses my mind that I ought to invest in a pair, then other things get in the way and I never buy a pair. Since Tim was the slipper present giver perhaps he might go as far as garden clogs?????
Seeing all that freshly turned soil made me think about plants for 2012. Not that I have space for many but those gaps in the border are just begging to be filled! I plant like there is no tomorrow when it comes to hiding the earth between plants. I like to see them tumbling over the top of one another really - that makes me happiest. My first pleasure this spring will be the purple flowering Aubretia I planted last year.

It has always been a particular favourite of mine. I prefer blues and purples and reds and pinks in the garden and I am delighted that these are looking good so far. They have not died; they have grown and I am hoping for a beautiful show along the front path and in my back border.......please!
I have still got a tree in mind for the back - on the wish list since we moved here. It will have to be fairly small to fit in the car but that's alright. Just got to decide which one is the best for the space I have in mind. I am tempted to plant a climber up the shed too - a self-clinger would be ideal, and I'd like to extend the Clematii along the fence too.........if there is one thing to brighten a rainy day it is the thought of spring in the garden!!!
Sue xx

Feeling stiff

For quite a while now I have had problems with my neck and shoulders. They ache and feel stiff and tense all the time and sometimes it is incredibly painful. Especially at the base of my neck - ouch! Waking up in the morning is the worse as then I really notice how I have laid during the night and which side hurts the most. My jaw is also really painful and creaks and groans when I stretch it from time to time - which is supposed to relieve the pain but doesn't at all. And my ear continues to give me problems. Oh boy, what a list of complaints! I suppose they are to be expected as we head towards another years number change (birthday) but what I am getting round to saying, is, that I think I ought to try swimming. It's just been so long since I went to a pool and swam. Years. I do love to swim and I believe it will be the best thing for my neck and shoulders and cheaper than a physio or any other form of treatment. A free massage might be possible.....the other thing would be a better chair for the computer. It keeps going down after a few minutes of sitting on it which alters the position of my neck when I am looking at the screen. This is what's on my mind this morning as I sit here in the dark tapping out the letters. I read that if women write down what really matters the most to them every day, they succeed better at losing weight than those who don't.
Ok, so why am I not a stick insect by now?
Sue xx

Action..

ok, I finally like this one!!!
Sue xx

Tough decisions

One thing I am very bad at is living in limbo. Give me a psychodynamic test of any kind and they will tell you I am an activist. ( they never test for dreamers so I am safe there!!). I like to plan, prepare, decide, act, when I am given a task and abhor sitting on my hands and doing nothing!! Not so our son. He has a totally different attitude which is more a "I'll jump out of the way just before the bus hits me not when I see it coming in the distance!" kind of attitude. That is youth for you. A lack of worry or concern and a complete belief that it will all be fine. Mum's just getting her knickers in a knot for nothing!! Take his up and coming placement in Sweden. There are forms to complete and send in. There are flights to book and emails to send. There are clothes to buy and suitcases to get out of the attic - the list continues.
On Tuesday I managed to persuade him we needed to go to school and get the forms stamped etc instead of waiting another week for him to go back to school. Action no 1. Tick. The school advised us to continue on to Alkmaar and the DUO offices to hand it in ourselves rather than posting it to Groningen and risking it getting lost or having a mistake and being sent back...he didn't want to. I said its the train home or a ride in the car to Alkmaar, you choose. We went to DUO, and I am so glad we did. They were really helpful and finally I think sonny boy started to appreciate that doing this was GOOD!!! Action no 2. Tick. We sent an email to Sweden but it came back as spam so no idea whether it was received or not. Need to tell school on Monday and get it sorted there. Action no 3:
At the moment we are paying for everything ourselves as we have no idea whether or not he will get any subsidy, so the pot is bare!! Result: cancellation of our holiday. Tick. Sob. Stress. Sad.
Action no 4: ring up and transfer holiday to end of year: Tick!! See, taking action makes me happy again!!! Going to have to wait a lot longer to see the kids but it will be even more worthwhile when we finally get there.
Action no 5: apply for the new passport so I can actually go on holiday! Tick. But at what cost? Almost 200,00 euros!!! The absurdity of it is laughable my friends. I have a British Passport that one used to be able to renew in Amsterdam at our Embassy there. You went, waited, paid up and got it all within an hour or so. Great! And now? It has to be sent registered post to PARIS, France. You have to send the usual passport photos, ok, that's standard, and your credit card information so that it can be paid for when the request gets processed. Takes up to 6 weeks. 6 weeks!!! Does it come back to me from France? No, from the UK. Why? No idea what so ever!! Why couldn't I have just sent it to the UK in the first place, please, folks???? Seems a rather complicated and silly system to me, but then again, I am just your average, compliant citizen who has no choice. Tick.


Do I feel less stressed? Yes, I do actually. Stress comes from inactivity for me. I do not stress easily and it takes an awful lot for things to get to me, but over the past week or so things have been building up and up and the result was I needed to do something. Take control over things instead of them controlling me. My one little word has been tested already!! PERSEVERE Suzanne; persevere.
Sue xx

In a bit of a funny mood...

hence the ever disappearing and changing backgrounds to my blog!! Just can't seem to find one that fits the bill right now, and reflects my mood swings!!! Hey ho, no doubt I will settle on one at some point. I think I need one that is a tad somber, but not too dark; pretty but not floral and OTT; colourful but in a faded sort of way; blue probably, and a little shabby-like............the odd flower suggested...........swirly bits..........
I dunno really, what I want!!!!
sue xx

Sad, sad news

Yesterday I went to the annual New Years Breakfast that we hold every year for staff and clients. I arrived at work to find out that one of our clients sadly, and most unexpectedly, passed away during the holiday week. She died in her sleep aged 54. It was her funeral yesterday. RIP.

This morning I read an email from my good friend Jackie who was here in the autumn telling me that her father passed away on Christmas Day. He had been very ill whilst she was here but was on the mend, so they had celebrated Christmas with him on December 24th at his home, as he was not up to travelling to their home, when he suddenly took a turn for the worse. She did get to spend some time with him before he died, which has to be her comfort at this awful time. My heart goes out to her and her family.
Sue xx

ONE LITTLE WORD 2012.

HAPPY NEW YEAR TO ONE AND ALL!!!

Every year I choose one little word to guide me through the coming 12 months. A word that offers me what I need the most, one I can repeat and hear in my head when I need it. One that stands for what I feel I am going to want to remember when things or situations are testing me. A couple of days ago I started thinking what it might be this year, and the process of finding it has been interesting. In the middle of the day yesterday I started really focussing on a few different words that seemed to be following the same theme, and finally this one drifted up from my sub-conscious and placed itself firmly in my mind as being THE ONE:


PERSEVERE.

per·se·vere/ˌpərsəˈvi(ə)r/

Verb:

Continue in a course of action even in the face of difficulty or with little or no indication of success.

Persevere with the relationship that matters the most to me.

Persevere with my course and training to become a counsellor/coach. Persevere with my search for a regular job that gives me a more secure income. Persevere with my writing. Persevere with everything that needs to be done in our home and garden. Persevere with my dreams and hopes for the future. Persevere even in my darkest moments and when nothing seems to be going right. Persevere with the things that make me happy and do more of them! Persevere with myself; acknowledge my imperfections and try to accept them. Persevere with being patient. Persevere with learning to live in the moment and not the distant future which at the best is totally unknown anyway! PERSEVERE...................I'm going to give it my best shot!!!!!! What will your word for 2012 be I wonder?............... Sue xx