Mother's Day

I have enjoyed my cuppa in bed, with Tim and both our cats, and am now thinking about what else I can do today! Whilst browsing the blogs regularly follow, I came upon this quote by Mother Theresa about openness and honesty.

I have always said of myself that I wear my heart on my sleeve, and what you see is what you get regarding my emotions. I cannot hide them away or act in any other way than the way I am feeling at that moment. So I cry easily, feel deeply, scare in a second, love with all my heart, wound instantly, suffer sensitivities constantly...............and care for all. And so much more!! It does not make my life easy or simple; quite the contrary in fact! But it does allow me to be true to myself and take responsibility for my actions, and it has given me the burden/gift of a really ever-present and demanding conscience.

It is my sister's 49th birthday today. I visited her with Clare last week and it was a heart-wrenching experience. Despite having her Liver transplant in March, progress is minute and she is fading fast. It is as much her responsibility as anything else, and this makes it harder to bear, but it is my opinion that she has to accept her situation and deal with her past if she has any hope of a future. I wish I was there for her, but I am not, I am here and I have to work with the things in my own life that are evolving and developing and shaping, and I can only support her from a distance. She is like a wounded animal waiting by the side of the road, knowing that two things can happen: she can be run over and killed outright or she can be rescued by a passer-by who stops and cares enough to take the burden on. For this to happen, you have to cry out for help or be noticed, or tell someone of your distress, and I am afraid she is doing none of these things. She has people, family and professionals who are all trying to help her, that I do know, but there is a mist between them that prevents Jo from seeing that they are there for her and really do care enough to help her....and it breaks my heart to see my sister this way. I just wanted to say this this morning, thanks.

Sue xx

Thought for the day

"Honesty and transparency make you vulnerable.

Be honest and transparent anyway."

{ mother teresa }

infection hurts!

Ouch, the swelling from the bite I got last Tuesday whilst in the garden is now ENORMOUS!! The whole of my left foot is red hot and puffy and tight and hurts like heck!!! I've got a plaster on the weeping part as it was so nasty otherwise, and it is spreading up my leg now too..........I think health-wise I leave a lot to be desired this week!!

Loes has just collected Tim's cakes that he has baked and decorated; his first ever real fondant-iced creations, so he was pleased that they were ok for her. I think he found it more demanding that he expected, and certainly more time-consuming, but we are learning as we go, and it will get easier each time. At least he has a steady hand!!!! Give me scraps of paper over icing any day though; it is not my thing at all!! Loes brought him her famous and much in demand meatballs so that means I have it easy too this evening as supper just arrived!! Enough for two, so thanks Loes!! Y'know we love 'em!!!

The rain finally stopped so I did nip out for essential shopping but everywhere I went there were queues of men all buying MOTHER'S DAY presents and flowers etc. Nice that they do it, but it meant a lot longer wait than usual in the shops! Luckily Tim was all organised and he has something for me, I know, and I had my card from Becci when it was the English Mothering Sunday and that is still on the mantelpiece. I'm hoping for at least a cup of tea in the morning!!!

Finka is stealing roses again, so I have moved them from their nice vase into another one in the kitchen, and surrounded it with various other things to make it more difficult for her to attack! First Xander with his tulip-slaying tendencies and now Finka with roses............and I do so love the Peonies that are in the shop now!! Would she eat them too? They look a bit like roses........worried. I do adore them when they are available, and always love to have them in the house. I suppose I will just have to try; and watch Finks like a hawk!!! What is it with my cats and flowers?????

I was just asked to accept someone on my skype address which was a total surprise, and although I did hesitate before accepting, I suppose it was not nice to refuse. It's a long story, but this guy is someone I've known for years and years, and it has been a sort of love-hate relationship of sorts: and that because he is so unreliable and I just hate that!!I seem to recall telling him last time that I would never answer a request to talk from him ever again after he had not replied to the last one I sent: I suspect he just likes to check up on me every now and again and find out what status I have and whether it is interesting or not!!!! Probably a bit harsh on him, but then again, that is my experience with this guy, so I am calling it as I see it boyo! At a guess I would say I haven't heard from him for 3 years or more?.......strange; but I suppose he must be out there looking for me still, to have bothered to ask me to skype...........last time he had tracked me down via the Friends site. So if you are wondering who I mean( Becci); it's the chap who gave you Spot!!!! ;-)

Sue xx

My darling girl

Becci and Heathcliff saying HELLO! Becci in her red shoes for her fairytale birthday party. Love the look, sweetie! xx This is my daughter with all her exuberance and joy showing to the world what a wonderful girl she is......aaah!! No wonder all her students think she is the bees-knees as their teacher....

Sue xx

Saturday morning

Shame that it is raining this morning seeing that it is the Jazz Festival in Enkhuizen this weekend, and the bands play in the town today!! I haven't been for a couple of years now, and was thinking about going along today, but not any more!

I have got an infected foot. I was bitten the other day whilst sitting in the garden and it is not getting any less itchy or red or swollen and now my foot is completely pumped up with the infection and it hurts quite a lot! I wonder whether I can even get my shoes on........at the moment I have only got my Birkenstocks on, as I just took Tim to work, and it is only just after 7am. Going to be fun! I do have to go into Hoorn however as we need more icing for the cakes. Tim has used the colours he bought for the one cake and there is not enough for the other one, so mum to the rescue!! So I think it will be a quick in and out if this rain continues..................

Sue xx

....what can I say? .......

I'm a sucker for a hero!!! And always for Robin Hood, really, as he is my kind of guy - or would have been if I had lived in those times.......lambs into lions, Richard the Lionheart 'n all that stuff!!! And if you've ever seen the Great Oak in Sherwood Forest, then you'd have to believe in the legend, but even more so if you are English perhaps....but I could convince you since we saw the Prince of Thieves together all those years ago, right?!!!! If I tried hard enough maybe?????

I am not having much success uploading more photos unfortunately so I am going to try again now, before I go to bed, as I have been singing and thoroughly enjoyed myself this evening, and the cakes are going well, so only the icing on them to tackle tomorrow............looks harder than I thought but Tim is confident I believe...so here goes: It worked!! Here are some lovely shots of the gardens at Leonardslee in Sussex.

All the beauty of the English countryside in full bloom - " oh to be in England now that spring is here!" You can see why it is my favourite time to visit!!!!

Sue xx

sunny start

At last the sun is shining and our bank holiday morning is looking promising! I was woken early, at 7, so here I am browsing the net and blogging whilst I wait for the towel to warm up so I can dip into the shower!! Hate cold towels!!! And I have been busy. Nothing like the germ of an idea to get me going folks and I am starting the germination process off by ordering some books from Amazon this morning! MORE BOOKS TO READ......got to be a bonus in my world, so all good so far. I have been thinking about what to do with my life next, bit like Katy as in 'What Katy did next" if you've read the series................used to love these stories as a child (I digress of course); so my plan is to start building up my library resources and search the net for appropriate studies, and get started! Right now I don't want to be more explicit about what it is I think I want to do......this is a public site and therefore anyone can read it, and for me, my choices are more private and personal and not something I want to share with everyone who might read my blog. Once I am convinced that this is the course I intend to follow, then sure, I can discuss it more freely. People who know me will already have an inkling about what I am going to do anyway, so for now that is enough for me. Once I am through to the next stage in my growing process, I will feel even more confident I am doing the right thing for myself, at the right time, and for the right reasons!! All three are important, right?!!! :-)

I am also reading a superb book right now called THE POSTMISTRESS. I really do recommend it you. It is about the blitz in London and some radio broadcasts and letters and how it affects some people in small town America so much, that their lives cross.........but I am only just getting to that point so am surmising about what I think is going to happen next! I see the threads being woven together now I am about half way, but the real interest of the story is only just coming together. I bought it at Gatwick along with another book, so I have plenty to be getting on with after two trips to the UK in recent times! I was talking to my friend about our week in the Lakes last night too, and planning a spa day for ourselves whilst we are there. Sounds wonderful, but we do need to book soon otherwise there is no chance of getting what we want booked in simultaneously. But just thinking about the hot tub in the serenity garden, and delicious lunch in the neighbouring hotel was wetting our appetite!!! Roll on July!!!

Hey ho, time to get up and on with this day. No good thinking too far ahead when there is much to do this morning here where I am now!

Sue xx

My week in pictures: bit by bit!!!

Clare looking the part in the garden! I am so glad I took one shot in B&W and especially this one as it is perfect for the mood I think. Clare and I being 'ladies who lunch' in the Siam Thai Restaurant in Little Common, where she lives. It was a really delicious meal and we were the only customers so a private do, as they say! Our Thelma and Louise experience was great! Clare drove brilliantly all the way down to Deal, including down to the Bay which is tricky at the best of times, and Martyns car was never in any danger at all! Very exotic we were!!!! A gal has to keep warm and Clare did so with this hat!! I was bundled up rather like the Sheik of Arabee.....in my blue scarf and under a blanket on my knees, but we went there and back with the hood down, so the weather was on our side. Sally and I down at the Coastguard at St Margarets Bay, after we had enjoyed super fish 'n chips and were onto the coffees. The fact that they were serving New Zealand wine - my all time favourite - was just the icing on the cake!!!!

Sue xx

First photos

Hi, I'm back again, and starting to adjust to real life after an absolutely fabulous week with Clare and the rest. Here we are in the gardens of Leonardslee, me having run up and down the slope several times trying to set the flash! This is us in 1977, in Holland just before my life changed................. ......and here are Clare, Peter and Carole in the Trat. in Bexhill, after lunch on Sunday and prior to me flying home again. I have tons more, but these are the first ones I decided to put up as I am now really, really tired having worked today, and with a full week ahead. Why oh why do I plan holidays with lots of work tagged onto the back of them I wonder?!!!!

Sue xx