Rested.

I actually slept really well last night and woke up thinking of lovely things to do on a Sunday morning!! Instead I got up and fed the cats, retrieving several kitchen items that Finka had strewn around the floor first, and am now listening to the sound of the washing machine vibrating in the garage below me. I swear my family have saved up washing from last year, and at the same time decided to throw it my way for washing! I hate it when it has piled up! But the weather outside is dull, the boys are off to see their girlfriends and I have all the time in the world to get it done.

We are learning Hallelujah by Leonard Cohen in the choir. Just having highlighted the tenor part ( which I now sing) on ten pages, it is on my mind. It is going to sound amazing. There is something magical about a great piece of music, and even though we are just starting to learn it, very slowly, one knows that it has the potential to give you goosebumps. We may only have 2 bass, 3 lady tenors, and a smattering of alto's and soprano's but we are going to try our best to make it work. Sadly there seems to be quite a few people leaving the choir at the moment, which is knocking our numbers down below a level we can afford. So if you live in our area, and love to sing or just want to try it for a change, come along on Thursdays to the Nieuwe Doelen in Enkhuizen at 7.30pm. We would give you a good welcome!!!! I am looking up some new songs to present to the choir this week so that we can vote to increase our repertoire for the music festival in June. I am glad about this because I feel the need to learn new pieces at the same time as improving our old ones, or else I get rather bored! What I am enjoying is having a director who likes to get it right at the beginning, and who knows what he is doing. So bravo, Filip, so far, so good!!!

Ok, my tea is cold and I reckon my towel is sufficiently warmed up for me to take a shower next. Otherwise I will be in the queue behind two teenage boys preparing to see their girlfriends this morning, and I will never get in the bathroom! Who says girls take the longest????

Sue xx

thought of the day.

"I have found the paradox that if you love until it hurts, there can be no more hurt, only more love."

{ mother teresa }

the best laid plans of mice and men

( well, woman, in this case!) Don't you just hate it when you think you have made a sound plan that makes the best use of the time available, the people, and the deadline, and it all goes wrong? I do, and this morning my frustration runneth over I am afraid! Women have the ability to juggle. We see the whole picture first and then figure out the most efficient way to complete the task. All those time management courses I have ever been on, cannot compete with the female logic that enables us to think clearly when multi-tasking. Many men do not have this I am sad to say.....well here at any rate! Women are so adapt at getting children ready for school or their clubs or other activities whilst thinking about what to eat for dinner, where the cats food is, what clothes need to be ironed for the morning, how lovely that song is on the radio, answering the phone, planning the weekend, that it would seem sensible for men to just follow on with what their role is in this great scheme without questioning it too much. Or daring to think something different and altering the whole thing whilst you are out so that nothing goes to plan the whole day long!!!!!

Need I say more?...........................

I apologise to the exceptions of this observation, and I am sure there are many who defy their sex and can do this brilliantly. But there are many others that are the way I have described, and to them I say, take the easy way out. Follow the plan; it makes it so much easier for you!!!

Of course all this is said with tongue in cheek and with a funny slant to it, and I am now back on track and getting through my tasks efficiently enough for me to be happy.

Time to pick up my son!!!

Sue xx

Friday on my mind..

Yesterday was a long working day for me, and I went directly afterwards to the Open Evening at the Horizon College in Heerhugowaard where Tim wants to do his baking diploma this year. It was interesting talking to the tutor about it all - the costs (!!!!!) and what it entails etc but I still think Tim prefers to do one day school and the rest with a baker so he has to try and find one to take him on!! Been telling him this for so long now already, but y'know kids...they know better and mum is an old fusspot! We went for a Chinese meal afterwards as it was too late to think about cooking really, and that was nice too. Only when we came out, Peter reversed into a lamppost by the restaurant, and just ever so gently 'touched' it ( long Volvo, not much room etc). Unfortunately there was a police car also sitting outside the restaurant so a policewoman came and talked to him about it...........and then breathalyze'd him!!! He had not had much to drink so there was no problem thank goodness and no damage done to car or post so we went on our way!! It would have been so frustrating for him otherwise I imagine. I spoke to Becci in the evening, when I was already in bed! and she sounded as though she could do with some cheering up, so I promised to see whether I could go and visit her soon. I was hoping for this month, but I have too many days to work and I cannot get free when I wanted to go. Disappointing for us both! But March looks better so maybe I can find something then. I will look, Becs!!! What we need are discounts on flights and now!!!!!

Busy day ahead for me so going to take my shower and start it off feeling fresh and dandy!

Sue xx

A good day scrapping

Loes and I worked on her China album today, and I have come home with a large bag full of layouts to make for it!!! At the moment I have more time than she does, and I am glad to be occupied really, so all good. It is so nice just being able to focus on something creative for a day, letting all ones other worries just disappear into the background for a while. Sort of balances out good and bad for me. This afternoon I took Finka for a check-up at the vets but really she just needs to have the eye salve for longer before we think about anti-biotics as she is no worse and it has not had much time to take effect as yet. Tomorrow I am working so that will make the day go by quickly too, and then it is open evening at the college where Tim wants to go this coming autumn. And I decided ( thinking about comments our vet made recently!!!) that I would treat myself to a cut and colour on Saturday morning!! Sort of a birthday treat to myself I suppose. Ah, getting someone else to cut and wash and sort a woman's hair out is something we all enjoy I think! I make such a mess of it when I do it myself - more dye on the towel than in my hair!!! Now, this evening I need to be at choir sooner so I have to 'cut this short' as well, and see to dinner.

Sue xx

Playtime!!

Whilst taking this shot Finka was trying to get hold of my camera cord and Genghis is just watching - rather bemused by her I think! Tim was laying on the settee with her favourite toy, so Finka was racing backwards and forwards over him the whole time!!! Eventually she was exhausted and went to bed! She can move like lightening!!! She has an eye infection and a cold at present so is going back to the vets this afternoon, probably for some anti-biotics as she is still sneezing. It doesn't seem to have dulled her playfulness or her appetite so that is good. She is loving her new bed too - and snuggles under her masses of blankets until you cannot see her any more. I am sure she would have been the Princess and the Pea type if she was anyone from a fairytale!!!

Sue xx

Working day

This morning I worked for a sick colleague, took so long to get there with all the ice etc but it was a good morning. Funnily enough there was a volunteer there too, who was also English, and we had some very useful information exchanges. She was able to tell me quite a lot of new information that I didn't know before, about where to look for work etc. and I also talked to our senior about my job interview, which was also useful to me. He said that they were keen to find something for me within our cluster if it is is at all possible, which I really appreciated hearing, but whether anything will come of it I don't know.............

Do you have someone that you want to tell things to, even if they are painful memories, just so that they can have a better understanding about why you might react so strongly to things that happen to you? I do, and I was glad that I was able to do that today. I think it is so difficult sharing one's vulnerabilities with others - well, for me anyway - that it takes a lot of courage for me to do it. I had a restless feeling inside which sort of told me I needed to unburden and share something, and although it made me feel sad later on, it was the right thing to do. I did not feel judged or mis-understood, only relieved that I had the chance to share it. At the same time it made me have to face up to facets of my character that are not very strong, and question why events that happen to me, do. Do I not defend myself properly? Why do I fear rejection so much? What is it about me that other people think that I can be badly treated and they can get away with it because I don't believe in retaliating? Am I too soft for my own good or is it something from a former life experience that pre-disposes me to needless suffering? Whoa, that is a bit heavy, even for me?!!!! I don't know the answers I guess. And even knowing that this is my weakness, do I want to change it or do I want to accept it is the way I am and only need to learn how to deal with it better in the future? You can see why I need to blog!!!! Confusion reigns supreme in my head right now! I think this is enough philosophizing for one evening folks...................I need to turn my attention to matters closer to home right now. Stick with me on this one - there is still a long way to go!

Sue xx

Thought of the day.

'the life you have led

doesn't need to be the

only life that you have'.

Anna Quinlan.

I can't do this!!!

I am finding it so difficult to ignore the fact that I miss my blogging/writing very, very much! It feels so strange not having my daily 'talk to the airwaves' ( instead of the trees!) and I am feeling terrible about it. I have had such wonderful reactions about my decision to stop writing, that my heart has been warmed up again and I am trying to decide how I can continue with my writing without causing myself even more heartache than I have already suffered. It ought to be possible, surely? I have discussed this with my husband who feels that I ought to continue if it makes me happier, therefore if he is okay with it, then so am I...........as I believe everyone else ought to be too!! Maybe I cannot tell you all that I am feeling or everything that is happening in my little world, like I used to be free to do, but I am going to try and find a middle-way because it is important to me and I want to continue. Thank you for being patient with me this week!!!! :-)

So what's new? Finka has a cold and is enduring eye salve three times a day, much to her irritation. It was so nice yesterday when we took her to our vets as they were curious to see her after what had to happen with Xander. We have an interesting vet! She seems convinced that I have a son who is actually older than me..........and I cannot seem to shake her ideas about this! So I am taking Tim with me on Thursday so that she can probably ask me whether he is my grandson or not....................I find it amusing anyway, and it lightens the day! The worrying part is how old she actually thinks I must be?!!! Time to take action and get some colour back into my hair!

The weather and the black ice yesterday morning caused us so many problems. We were due to be in Alkmaar for 8.45am so that Tim could take his scooter test once more. Because of the snow and black ice on the roads we sat in the traffic for two and a half hours, on a journey that normally takes 39 minutes! We tried phoning the CBR to tell them what was happening but you only get an answer service in Amsterdam that keeps asking you to press in another number, but no human ever comes on the line! We continued on to Alkmaar in the vain hope that Tim would be allowed to take the following exam if someone didn't show up for that either. But no, that is not the system, and the system rules. There was little point in arguing so we eventually spent another 2 hours in the car on the way home, Tim feeling very low and disappointed, and me frustrated for him. However, we are going to try ONCE more, and if he doesn't pass then, he is throwing in the towel!! He is home today with a dreadful cold, and temperature, probably from freezing in the cold yesterday! Such is life, disappointments as well as triumphs, but sometimes the dice does feel rather heavily loaded one way or the other......................

Sue xx