Looking forward

"Every small, positive change

we make in ourselves

repays us in confidence

in the future."

{ alice walker }

I am hoping that this is what I am going to discover within myself during the course I am beginning next month. The fact that it is getting closer is making me look more at what I have actually signed up to do.........and one of the things is writing essays about myself!! Not my favourite past-time to be frank, but unavoidable and something I need to get used to all over again. As a therapist I used to be involved heavily in reflective practice and supervision and I suppose that is what it boils down to here; looking at what one does, how one reacts in situations, what one feels or says, how one learns from one's actions....how the past affects current and future choices and decisions. Am I ready for all that?! Not sure, but it is a positive opportunity to change things within myself that perhaps need to be changed, take stock of what is good and improve and value that more, and learn to love myself for the person I am and not the person I imagine I ought to be. The last one is the hardest. Maybe that is where my focus should lie if  I am to be any good at all this one day. 

I learnt something about myself today at work. I was to work in a group situation that was new to me, even though I knew all the clients and it was within my usual workplace. I had not expected it and it was just a given when I saw that my colleague had left notes for the coming fortnight addressed to me!!! I was a little unsure for the first part of the morning, but as the day wore on, I realised that I can handle it just fine, and so long as no-one expects me to use any of the machinery, we are all going to be okay!! I did try to use an electric screwdriver but I was not at all offended when my colleague told me my client was better with it than me; it was the plain truth, that's all. But they were really helpful, and did everything possible to support 'the new girl' and ensure we did all we needed to do, so here's to the coming 7 days of sawdust and noise, paper and boxes, and 'my guys' getting it all just right! I am sure they will, I know they can, and I will just do my best not to get anything wrong. When they suggested that it was probably best to let them tow the cart around the town tomorrow whilst I just walked beside them, I knew they understood exactly what my role is to be!! ..Nice lady who sings as they work!!!!;-)

Sue xx