Brr...very cold in this house cos I can't get the heating to work properly yet!!! It was ok earlier as I turned it up for a while and I was then too hot so turned it off again, and then I got really cold so now I am going to bed to warm up again!! It feels more cold-damp than chilly if you know the difference? Anyway, I hope to get a better look at it tomorrow because this is not pleasant at all!
My issues with 'the dear boy' remain unresolved. Rather than going into them in great detail let me just say that I am not finding it easy at the moment, and the attitude of a certain teenage boy is not helping. I was once a single mum with two small children, working full-time juggling that many balls I can't even believe I managed it now looking back. And yet here I am, alone with an almost grown son and working off and on and one would think it would be a doddle, but no, that is not what it is at all!!! Frustration, frustration, my cup runneth over - or rather BOILS!!!!! Perhaps we are both suffering from the same emotions and therefore rubbing each other up the wrong way right now - it is a good possibility, but one that nonetheless is awful for us both. We are both now moving into our stubborn "I am not going to give in first" positions which I find easy to justify on the tit for tat scale, but not on the "I am going to sort this out and get it right" scale. I know I have to stick to my guns and not succumb to the easy option this time. It can go two ways right now, and that is my struggle, as every parent will understand, but I will stay calm and undeterred and see how that works out..............we both need to learn from this impasse.............
The weekend! Isn't it nice how at the end of every five days there are two which we treat differently from the rest and look forward to each time they come around? And even though we don't know beforehand how these two days are actually going to pan out, we hold great expectations for them anyway? Like this weekend f'instance. For two of my friends they are the last two of their holiday so when they are over it is a signal that work is about to start again. For Tim they mean a day's work followed by a day of total relaxation and sleep. For me they are uncertain and could be either wonderful or disastrous, long or short, quick or slow, I am not going to know until they come around. But they cannot begin until I have been to bed and hopefully got sufficient sleep to rouse me from my moody-me mood and righted my head upon my shoulders so that the world seems a brighter place in the morning. Like the fantastic double rainbow I drove through this morning on my way to work - spectacular! So somewhere, over that rainbow..............
Sue xx
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