I can't do this!!!

I am finding it so difficult to ignore the fact that I miss my blogging/writing very, very much! It feels so strange not having my daily 'talk to the airwaves' ( instead of the trees!) and I am feeling terrible about it. I have had such wonderful reactions about my decision to stop writing, that my heart has been warmed up again and I am trying to decide how I can continue with my writing without causing myself even more heartache than I have already suffered. It ought to be possible, surely? I have discussed this with my husband who feels that I ought to continue if it makes me happier, therefore if he is okay with it, then so am I...........as I believe everyone else ought to be too!! Maybe I cannot tell you all that I am feeling or everything that is happening in my little world, like I used to be free to do, but I am going to try and find a middle-way because it is important to me and I want to continue. Thank you for being patient with me this week!!!! :-)

So what's new? Finka has a cold and is enduring eye salve three times a day, much to her irritation. It was so nice yesterday when we took her to our vets as they were curious to see her after what had to happen with Xander. We have an interesting vet! She seems convinced that I have a son who is actually older than me..........and I cannot seem to shake her ideas about this! So I am taking Tim with me on Thursday so that she can probably ask me whether he is my grandson or not....................I find it amusing anyway, and it lightens the day! The worrying part is how old she actually thinks I must be?!!! Time to take action and get some colour back into my hair!

The weather and the black ice yesterday morning caused us so many problems. We were due to be in Alkmaar for 8.45am so that Tim could take his scooter test once more. Because of the snow and black ice on the roads we sat in the traffic for two and a half hours, on a journey that normally takes 39 minutes! We tried phoning the CBR to tell them what was happening but you only get an answer service in Amsterdam that keeps asking you to press in another number, but no human ever comes on the line! We continued on to Alkmaar in the vain hope that Tim would be allowed to take the following exam if someone didn't show up for that either. But no, that is not the system, and the system rules. There was little point in arguing so we eventually spent another 2 hours in the car on the way home, Tim feeling very low and disappointed, and me frustrated for him. However, we are going to try ONCE more, and if he doesn't pass then, he is throwing in the towel!! He is home today with a dreadful cold, and temperature, probably from freezing in the cold yesterday! Such is life, disappointments as well as triumphs, but sometimes the dice does feel rather heavily loaded one way or the other......................

Sue xx