Happy Birthday!!

A rather wet and going to be windy day here! I listened to the forecast last night and it was obviously only good weather for ducks today!!! So no going anywhere, staying in and drinking coffee and eating cake! Tim has already popped in with his card and Lieke is coming later on this morning so I guess I will have my 'surprise' present then. I usually am a pretty good guesser when it comes to presents, so I know it will be something lovely having just seen the packing!! And an email from my friend Jackie this morning and early text messages.......all good for the soul!! I am not celebrating it in the full sense but I am hoping that some friends will call by so that the day has not passed entirely unnoticed. Tim's card summed it all up really - we'll get through this year and look forward to the next one which reflects how I feel about it as well. Loes came round yesterday and we are going to stamp together tomorrow morning so more chance to talk then! But now it is time to take a shower and face the first of my 365 days as a fifty one year old!!!

Sue xx

blue bird...

side panels make the blue bid stand out more, don't y'think?!!!

Sue xx

Another birthday approaches

So, this weekend is my birthday. A whole 365 days after the last one!!! And what a difference a year makes, right? Last year my best friends were here and Becci and a whole host of other friends and neighbours, and this year I think it will sneak by without so much as a whisper. I have such mixed feelings about it if I am honest. There are people I would love to celebrate it with, who cannot be here, and there are others who are able to find the time to say hello at some point over the weekend, and I am happy about that of course. But I think I am already wondering where I will be in another years time, and how I will be spending that birthday.............it seems to me reading Ali Edwards ambitious project involving photographing an entire year of her family's life, that maybe I ought to start taking snaps this Sunday, just so I can record this coming milestone in my life. Maybe a couple a week would be the right way to go, so if that is the case, then I am in need of a suitable album!!! I love all those pockets in hers that mean no photo has to be huge, and that they can be filled with relevant information in just a few minutes. I have to read her posts more carefully to see how it is really done!!

These last two weeks I have worked my socks off, and I am totally cream-crackered. I have a very low blood pressure/pulse rate so I tend to have high energy levels in the morning that peter out to virtually nothing around 3pm, and gradually fade away as the evening wears on. I start to yawn at work after tea, and gaze into fresh air from that point onwards!! You want anything from me, ask before lunch time!!! At this point I am feeling rather woozy and woolly around the edges, so concentration is difficult. It is almost 8pm!!! Too early for bed for most people but I am seriously thinking about when I can be snugged up in my bed, and falling fast asleep! Maybe in a former life I was a hamster?............or a cat?................dormouse, even?

Sue xx

Have you ever had a day........

When nothing goes the way you expected or wanted it to go?!! Last night was such a night for the Dutch skater Sven Kramer. A costly mistake by his coach and himself got him disqualified from a race which he was expected to win. And he was the fastest skater by 4 seconds. It was his. But instead he has had to accept a very different outcome than he had imagined, and I think everyone here feels his despair with him and the team. I bet he wishes it was just a dream rehearsal and he still had it to come!! Or that he could race all over again and get it right. Fate. It has us in its grip. Have you got things you wish you could do again so that the outcome would be different? I think just about every one of us has if the truth were told. I know I certainly have a few!! But the 24 hours that lie ahead of us are just that; they are the unknown future and despite the fact that we have filled them in our minds already, there is nothing to say that the final outcome will be the one we expected when we woke up this morning. Take Tim and Lieke for instance. Yesterday they were planning a day in Amsterdam together. It was a sunnier day for a change, and they were going to get up on time and go somewhere in their school holiday. At the moment that seems highly unlikely as they are still in Tim's room, watching movies and lounging about as teenagers do!!! It is raining here and damp and not such a nice day, so the attraction of staying home in the warmth has outweighed any desire to be in the city roaming from store to store and getting steadily colder!!! I suppose I don't blame them, but I was looking forward to a 'home alone' day to get my baking done, and to scrap and to lounge a little myself!!! Best laid plans an' all that!!!

Sue xx

Rain, rain, go away...

Come again another day! Probably tomorrow if I look at the forecast!! At least it is washing the snow away so that is something.

Today was a difficult day. I don't really want to talk too much about it, but lets just say that it is the' beginning of the end of things' and that although it is very sad, it is the best for us both. Never easy, always emotional, and not without a great deal of thought and consideration. But I do feel that honesty is the best policy in this life, and without it what do we have to recommend ourselves? Having to face oneself in the mirror is the hardest thing, but I personally feel that when it comes to myself, I can only do this if I know there is nothing to hide or be ashamed of, and that I need to find truth in it whenever I look deep into my heart. Experiences shape our decisions and choices every day, and what I went through within my own family left its own deep impression upon me. So I face an uncertain future. I know that. But it holds hope as well as fear; happiness as well as anxiety, and the opportunity for the unknown to unfold and embrace me. So we have raised a glass to our own futures and that of the others, and we can do that as good friends which means a great deal to us both. We only hope that our friends and family can be as gracious as we are towards one another.

Sue xx

Busy, busy.........

Even though I didn't have to get up early for Tim this morning I had slept so poorly that I was awake anyway!!! Fortunately we had done the shopping yesterday as I was not looking forward to yet another Saturday running from one place to the other! Instead we went to Ikea for a few things needed to finish the laminate flooring in the hall and upstairs outside Peter's bedroom. This done, we can finish the walls and ceiling and actually complete a job from last year! I bought a couple of small bedside lamps which I have been needing for a while now, so I was happy with them, as well as a table lamp + shade for later on. It was a good opportunity to look around and see what is new and what is just nice to dream about! I love decorating interiors so this sort of outing is great for me and I did need cheering up this morning I can tell you. And now I am resting as I am so tired from lack of a good nights sleep last night. It has been snowing once again here but it soon disappears due to the thaw that is finally happening. I think I shall go downstairs and watch the live Eastenders episode I missed last night when I have sat here a while longer. I am scouring the internet for ideas for me and Becci and I am determined to find something on our shoestring budget!!!! But it is wearing doing it constantly so I am going to stop and start again tomorrow.

Sue xx

My stamped bookmarks

Here are the bookmarks I have been stamping recently. I have used the Adirondack and distress inks along with my Stazon black, various stamps and layering effects. If you look carefully you can see that the first step is to stamp a background grunge stamp effect using distress embossing ink. Then I went over the paper with different colour inks, using the Tim Holtz blending tool and just swirling the ink to blend it as I wanted. Then I used the same colour inks to stamp different images onto the paper before adding the main stamps or text using the black Stazon. It takes about 5 minutes per bookmark if you have everything you need close to hand! I have backed my bookmarks with cardstock so that they have a little more weight to them and are not so floppy! Lastly I add a matching ribbon to the top of the case and voila!! They are complete! Fun and easy to do, and make great gifts or thank you's don't they?

Sue xx

Sauna treat

For my 50th birthday last year I was given a Relaxing Voucher for a sauna, but I haven't got around to going yet - and I only have one more week left! So I have booked it for this coming Monday, as I reckon I will need it then! I get a back massage thrown in as well, and it all sounds lovely. I think I deserve it too, so although I am sort of shy about this sort of thing, it would be rather underserving not to use a present like this in my opinion, so I have plucked up the courage to go. There! Done!

Becci is more or less convinced that we ought to give Dublin our vote for the weekend away. Having spent HOURS searching on the internet this morning/afternoon, I think I have found a suitable B&B for us in the town centre, and reasonably priced flights for us both. Neither of us have a fortune to spend, so it is a case of 'cheap and cheerful' and some quality time with my darling daughter. She is going to phone later so that we can fix the dates and book!! Now it is all about logistics....timing arrivals at the airport etc and getting the most out of a couple of days away from it all. De-stressing I think you call it!!!!

Sue xx

With a bit of a gentle SHOVE!!!!

Finally...........I hope..........Tim has completed and SENT IN his application form to college!!! Think of him as a sheep. Alone in a huge field. Content doing nothing the whole day, but suddenly the farmer needs to get him in one reason or another. He calls on his sheepdogs to round him up, and slowly but surely they manage to get him right where they want him!! Takes a while but eventually it is achieved.

My sheepdogs are myself, the decaan and Tim's mentor at school, and thankfully they are the best I could hope for. Together we have managed to get Tim this far and although there is still some way to go, there is hope. Here was I thinking that the reservation for the Dinner for Vietnam was organised, only to find out that Tim hadn't given in the form to do that for me until yesterday.......the last day that it could be handed in!!! So our places are safe! After some concerted efforts on all our parts, Tim has completed the application form for his course and posted it with the decaan.........hurrah! Only the baker to visit now and I can rest easy in my sleep. I called Tim the sheep because he is blissfully unmoved by all our worries and concerns and efforts on his behalf, totally convinced that there is nothing to worry about and it will all be fine. All he has to do is chew grass!!!

Last night at choir there were only 16 of us present. A huge drop in numbers and we are down to one man! Worrying times. It was a good rehearsal and the atmosphere was positive but we cannot afford to lose more members. I am loving singing Halellujah by Leonard Cohen. I am not so convinced about some of our other numbers but then again, I was spoilt in Zoetermeer by having such a large repertoire to sing from. I think people don't realise that singing in a choir is hard work sometimes. Learning 4 parts is not the same as singing a solo, or singing as one voice. In fact, getting a choir to sing as one voice, totally in harmony with everyone, equal volume from every voice, timing etc is the hardest thing of all. Our dirigent was very good last night and he has a nice way with the choir. We can do well with Filip I believe. We have got lots of adverts out now, so hopefully with lighter nights and spring on its way, we will get a great response this time. Fingers crossed!!!

A day off today. I was expecting it to be slightly different to what it now appears to be going to be, and I am not happy about that really, but these are my frustrations right now, and I have such a lot on my mind. Better start the day I guess!!!

Sue xx

Working 9 to 5....

You can tell I am working 3 days this week - no time to chat!! Only one more to do and then I have some space for myself. Next week another three and then it is my birthday weekend. Last year was such a fantastic one for me, and I loved everything about it, and here we are almost a year in between and such a lot of changes have occurred in that time. I have nothing planned at all. I am considering doing something on another day as my friends are busy that weekend and since I don't know many, I would prefer to celebrate it when they are all free at the same time!

Tomorrow my mother in law will turn 91. Isn't that incredible? She is forty years older than me so I marvel at her tenacity and strength. She is a lovely woman and I am glad that she has been in my life.

I received such a beautiful card with Siamese cats on today from my friend Jackie who lost her cat last year. I must take a picture of it as it is truly lovely. My collection is growing steadily!

Well, I am tired now and want a cup of tea before I start preparing our dinner. So this was short and sweet and really just about saying HELLO.

Sue xx

Bike fixed at long last!!

Having looked at my son's bike laying upside down in the garage for weeks now, half -heartedly having been taken apart and in the process of repairing inner tubes etc. and in the spirit of solidarity today, I called the mobile bike repairer to come and totally fix it!!! Ann had suggested him to me as it is a lot more convenient that getting it to a shop etc. and I was glad she did. Everything has been put back together again - even the lock is back on it - and it ought to be perfect once more. The cost was reasonable too I felt, so all in all, I am satisfied. Hopefully Tim will now leave me to ride my bike in peace!! As the weather improves I have to start riding it again because it is good for me and I enjoy the solitude when I am on it. Just me and my ipod! The wind in my face, the cows in the fields, the cars racing by...............luvverly!

Sue xx

Having fun!

Having done all that I needed to this morning my conscience is clear as I sit here dabbling in ink!! I am making bookmarks again; love it! So quick!!! Having done the workshops recently I have a better idea of what to do about layering colours and stamps and I am feeling really cool about my efforts thus far. I also did a tiny cover for a note book (which I wish I had more of because it was so nice to do)....but my efforts today are concentrated upon bookmarks. And new colour combinations - am loving the pool; butterscotch and eggplant Adirondacks by the way! And I have finally got some Tim Holtz grunge background stamps which are wonderful and SO great for just adding detail without overpowering the total picture. Guess what, everyone is going to be getting a bookmark from me this year!! Will add some pics when I have run out of inspiration and finished them all.

Sue xx

No luck for Tim

Well, that's it. My poor son has decided enough is enough and he will not get his scooter any more. He failed by just 2 once again, and after 5 attempts he has said that he isn't prepared to go for it another time. There was just one more opportunity to take it before the new tests come into play, and when I offered it to him, he said no. I really feel for him, but he has obviously done his best now, and has lost confidence that he can pass it. So he has to wait until he is 18 and can have driving lessons instead. There's not much I can say to him in this situation as words are not of any comfort, but I am proud of him for trying so many times, and not giving up straight away, and I hope that he can recognise that for himself. Not meant to be I guess..................

Sue xx

Keep everything crossed!!!

So, here we are again, getting ready for the trip to Alkmaar! It doesn't look as though it has snowed anymore last night so the roads are not going to be a problem; just Tim's attitude and determination level this morning. I do so, so hope that he passes!! Life would feel so good to him if he does because he would break his own duck then, and start believing that he can pass exams instead of always feeling crippled by fear and anxiety. So lets all send him the most positive vibes we can please - all of you out there could make the difference!

Sue xx

Sharing

I just wanted to share one of my favourite blogs with you.

It is called 3191.visualblogging.com and is kept by two friends who live 3191 miles apart from one another. They take photos of their everyday lives, one a day, and the first year turned into a Book of Mornings. I have this and have also given it to various friends as presents, but there is also a Book of Evenings which I would dearly love to own too, and now they are on the third run. This time they write a little along with every photo, which they didn't do before, and I am loving it just as much as always. Such beautiful images, and given that they are just ones you or I could take every day if we took the time to view our worlds in a different way, it is awe inspiring. I am so impressed with them every time I go to their blog - wonderful!

Sue xx

Final thought about LOVE

"Justice at its best

is love correcting everything

that stands against love."

{ mlk jr }

HAPPY VALENTINE"S DAY

Happy Valentine's Day! Happy Birthday aunty Sally!!! It is snowing here in Westwoud and the world is once again turning white. A perfect romantic scene for lovers who enjoy a day by an open fire and great food and champagne, red roses - the works! My son has done his absolute best for his girlfriend, Lieke. He bought the single red rose, and the chocolates, he got the card from me which he wrote in, and decorated the envelope, he made heart-shaped cupcakes whilst waiting for her to arrive last night..................aah! Oh, and not forgetting the love CD!!!!

My contribution to love is this video clip, which I promised to add today. One of my all time favourite love songs, and actually it was used last night on BBC1 for the dance final, so obviously a popular choice! ENJOY.

Sue xx

feeling better now

Well ,or rather as well as can be expected but not fully recovered would be a better description. I have a headache still and my throat is sore when I swallow but the rest is okay. 'Mustn't crumble"!!!

Sitting here with my son downloading music for his girlfriends Valentines Day CD. Nice actually because he has used some of my favourites as well as letting me hear some good ones he listens to, so we are 'sharing and bonding' my friends!!! When I collected him from his work we trotted off to the florist for 'the red rose', and some delicious bon bons all wrapped up in a red box and I think he appreciated that having a job enables him to make these decisions for himself, rather than being dependent on others. He looked quite pleased when he was handed the large red rose in perfect packing! Mummy was proud too.

Still feels cold ( or maybe that is just me) here so I think it is time for tea. My scrap room is always on the coldish side anyway, but when I am working I don't tend to notice it that much I guess. Bye!

Sue xx

felt like a change cos I'm poorly!

...just to say I have a rotten sore throat and cold and am sipping my

Lemsip whilst dabbling in backgrounds. Trying this one for now.................

Sue xx

Thought of the day.

"There is no remedy for love

but to love more."

{ henry david thoreau }

So snow

Sitting here burning Cd's for the car and friends from my itunes collection and watching the snow fall. Yuk!! I thought we were past all that by now!! And Friday is only two more days away so heres hoping that this is the last of it!

Sue xx

Absolutely no voice at all!

My throat was feeling sore all night long and I was afraid that when I woke up there would be nothing coming out of my voice at all..........there was barely a squeak!!! My cold seems to be intent on stopping me from doing too much talking and certainly no singing this week, which is as frustrating as it can get for someone like me who is desperate to talk, talk, talk! I had it all planned - all the mumbo jumbo in my head needs to tumble out and what happens? Speechless!!

My Seal CD arrived and I listened to it in bed last night before sleeping. Fantastic!! I absolutely loved it more than I thought I would. I enjoyed the re-working of the old classics and it was full of energy and rhythm which I was not totally expecting since it is soul music and I sort of thought it was likely to be slower and more haunting stuff. But I'm totally happy with it and it will be played in the kitchen today. Well, if I can't talk, then music is the best alternative, right?!!!!

Sue xx

And this is what I think today..........

This morning I woke up feeling rather groggy from too little sleep and a sore throat and headache, but I had to work so it was a case of dosing myself up with medicine and out into the cold morning air! Brr!! It is certainly colder again!

Work was fine since several of our clients are also sick at the moment and the group was reasonably quiet. One of our clients is not herself at the moment and that was so sad to see. She knows that things aren't quite right, but can't understand that it is all going to be alright again and that she just has to be patient for a while...............I really felt for her today.

Finka has got anti-biotics for her cold now as it is not getting any better without them. Poor thing, she must think we are being so cruel to her expecting her to have salve in her eyes and now tablets too!!! Genghis is snuggled down in her basket again this evening with her, so I think I can safely say that he will be from now on!!

Lieke, my son's girlfriend passed her scooter test first time with only 5 mistakes today. She learnt for it though, which is something Tim fails to do properly each time, so maybe, just maybe he will see that it can be achieved if one studies hard enough!! He goes again on Monday so I am just praying that she can inspire him to do the same as she did.................

Got my CD today and have been getting it onto my ipod etc. Plan on listening to it in bed later on this evening. I have been trying to find a suitable song for Valentines Day, and I think I have found it! I was browsing several other blogs this week and listening to favourite love songs chosen by other people, and I thought it was a good idea to select one for my own blog. So on Sunday I will upload it for all you lovers everywhere!!!! I bought a card whilst I was in England at Christmas time, so no worries there........I am a true romantic and celebrate it every year one way or another! I see myself buying my own flowers this year however...........but what the heck, I can have my own little slice of romance with a good book or a film or some music I enjoy, and that bottle of wine and chocolates....mmmn, all sound good to me!!

Becci and I are still debating where to go together. Her latest suggestion is Berlin, and although it is probably convenient it does not exactly light my fire, so I feel we should carry on searching for the ideal destination. Istanbul was the suggestion from my work today. Anyone got any other ideas? Just to see somewhere we have never been........my vote still goes to Stockholm, Becs!!!

Sue xx

This was my day

After doing my chores this morning Finka and I settled down to watch last nights episode of Lark Rise to Candleford. I do love it! And having heard Becci say that she cries every episode, I was thinking how calm I was being because I didn't do that every week. And of course last nights did make me cry!!! I think it was especially for before Valentine's Day ( next Sunday for those likely to forget!) because the theme was romance and unrequited love and ordinary every day long-lasting love and new love just starting..........LOVE. In all its phases, its difficulties, its enduringness, its doubt, its simplicity and its complications. And it was so good to see Tom Conti acting in it! Haven't seen him for a long time in any sort of role, but he played the part of the grieving man so well....delicious! I sat on the settee wearing my tears with empathy and gentility. I loved it! I am so glad I taped it as now I can watch it again whenever I am in the mood!!

Just been out this afternoon with Tim. He wanted to buy Peter his birthday present and we were able to do that together so that is done. We also went window shopping for him.............he is getting more fussy about what clothes he likes to wear and his taste is improving even though I do say so myself. If only I could persuade him that his hair would benefit from a little tidying up!! Not cutting just a few layers in to give it more shape.............softly, softly, catchee monkey..................

Sue xx

House full of colds

Tim has just recovered from a nasty cold and Peter and I are now suffering!! Peter has taken to his bed this morning as he feels worse than me, but I went to bed early last night with an awful headache and a sore throat, and woke up this morning feeling woozy and with a slight temperature. I had such a bad nights sleep ( can hardly call it that really) and don't feel properly rested at all, so I am glad that I don't have to work until tomorrow. I get one day to get over it!!

Perhaps I will indulge in a little afternoon siesta............it is cold here again and I am getting my winter woollies out of the bedroom again. Minus 5 when I went out with Tim this morning! But no ice or snow so nothing to complain about. There is talk of more snow later in the week however, which does not please me as I am going to be driving to Sleen early Friday morning!!! It takes over 2 hours to get there and Loes and I will be leaving really early.........so dark and snow or ice are not the best combination for me to drive in!!! Fingers crossed it will all be fine. I hate being a fatalist and thinking the worst before it even happens so I will remain positive and think happy thoughts of sunshine and open roads!!!

Sue xx

Surprise phone call

I was already asleep last night when the telephone rang. It was an english number that I vaguely recognised but not totally, so I thought, it can wait until tomorrow...I'll ring the number and find out who it was! So I did just that, and it turned out to be my sister!!

Actually I was pleased to hear from her as she was able to tell me all about her treatment and the liver transplant situation, so now I know much more than before, and that is great. She is being treated by Kings College Hospital in London which is the best in the world. They are the foremost transplant experts and seem to do so many it is crazy. Last weekend they did 5, for goodness sake, so they are kept pretty busy by the sounds of things. She has to keep a bag ready all the time, and would be collected and taken to the hospital should a donor be found for her. She sounded quite philosophical about it and accepting of her situation. She said that her symptoms are synonymous with liver failure/disease so she is always cold and tired and wants to sleep during the day and be awake at night. Sounds odd to me, but she says it is true. She is sick most days, and if she does something in the morning then she is worn out by the afternoon. But it was good to hear it from her as my mother never knows anything as she finds it all too much to talk or ask about. Then I talked with my aunt for a while so it was all good this morning. I feel the need to talk about everything that has nothing to do with anything relevant to my situation right now, just to be able to laugh and joke and relax is everything right now.

Finka is worrying me though. Her eyes are not better and she sneezed really hard just now and lost a little diarrhea at the same time. This is not good news so I will ring the vet again tomorrow and just ask about it. She has got a good appetite but I don't like the fact that other signs are appearing............

have sent for two new CD's as a treat to me!!! I've been wanting one for so long now, that I finally saw it on offer and went for it. It is the African Ladysmith Black Mambazo Choir and the other one is by Seal, as I feel that I ought to have at least one CD of his in my collection!! I am of the opinion that just waiting for anyone to 'guess' what music I love, is no good; I have to get it myself!!! Only problem is the delivery times are rather long...BOL.COM is not always that great when it comes to their stock!!! I chose one for Peter too and that is going to take 4-6 weeks!!!!! Well, his taste is not run of the mill shall we say! I am hoping, though, that I will get my perfume for my birthday as that is beyond my pocket!! I think I have about two more days worth to use and then it is up!!! Woe is me...............hope I get some Douglas vouchers from Tim!!!

Sue xx

Bedfellows!

Genghis has been eyeing Finka's basket for a couple of days now, and I was sure that at some point he would try to get in there with her. This morning he was hovering next to the basket, and Finka was looking out at him as if to say 'bloomin' men. You just get your nest right, and they want to move in with you!" First of all he tentatively squeezed himself in at the edge, because he is quite large compared to her, and then when he met no resistance he slowly slid down into a more comfortable position. A sleepy Finka looks at me as if to say, 'he's on my hot water bottle, mum!' And finally they got themselves comfortable with the hottie in the middle and her blanket wrapped around her!!! Genghis doesn't like to be under the covers but Finka does, so this was the best solution!! Genghis is so happy to have another friend again. You can see that his fur is now soft and he is eating well, and even playing a little.........he has no choice I suppose when there is a little someone playing tag with him around the living room!!! Lovely.

Sue xx

Rested.

I actually slept really well last night and woke up thinking of lovely things to do on a Sunday morning!! Instead I got up and fed the cats, retrieving several kitchen items that Finka had strewn around the floor first, and am now listening to the sound of the washing machine vibrating in the garage below me. I swear my family have saved up washing from last year, and at the same time decided to throw it my way for washing! I hate it when it has piled up! But the weather outside is dull, the boys are off to see their girlfriends and I have all the time in the world to get it done.

We are learning Hallelujah by Leonard Cohen in the choir. Just having highlighted the tenor part ( which I now sing) on ten pages, it is on my mind. It is going to sound amazing. There is something magical about a great piece of music, and even though we are just starting to learn it, very slowly, one knows that it has the potential to give you goosebumps. We may only have 2 bass, 3 lady tenors, and a smattering of alto's and soprano's but we are going to try our best to make it work. Sadly there seems to be quite a few people leaving the choir at the moment, which is knocking our numbers down below a level we can afford. So if you live in our area, and love to sing or just want to try it for a change, come along on Thursdays to the Nieuwe Doelen in Enkhuizen at 7.30pm. We would give you a good welcome!!!! I am looking up some new songs to present to the choir this week so that we can vote to increase our repertoire for the music festival in June. I am glad about this because I feel the need to learn new pieces at the same time as improving our old ones, or else I get rather bored! What I am enjoying is having a director who likes to get it right at the beginning, and who knows what he is doing. So bravo, Filip, so far, so good!!!

Ok, my tea is cold and I reckon my towel is sufficiently warmed up for me to take a shower next. Otherwise I will be in the queue behind two teenage boys preparing to see their girlfriends this morning, and I will never get in the bathroom! Who says girls take the longest????

Sue xx

thought of the day.

"I have found the paradox that if you love until it hurts, there can be no more hurt, only more love."

{ mother teresa }

the best laid plans of mice and men

( well, woman, in this case!) Don't you just hate it when you think you have made a sound plan that makes the best use of the time available, the people, and the deadline, and it all goes wrong? I do, and this morning my frustration runneth over I am afraid! Women have the ability to juggle. We see the whole picture first and then figure out the most efficient way to complete the task. All those time management courses I have ever been on, cannot compete with the female logic that enables us to think clearly when multi-tasking. Many men do not have this I am sad to say.....well here at any rate! Women are so adapt at getting children ready for school or their clubs or other activities whilst thinking about what to eat for dinner, where the cats food is, what clothes need to be ironed for the morning, how lovely that song is on the radio, answering the phone, planning the weekend, that it would seem sensible for men to just follow on with what their role is in this great scheme without questioning it too much. Or daring to think something different and altering the whole thing whilst you are out so that nothing goes to plan the whole day long!!!!!

Need I say more?...........................

I apologise to the exceptions of this observation, and I am sure there are many who defy their sex and can do this brilliantly. But there are many others that are the way I have described, and to them I say, take the easy way out. Follow the plan; it makes it so much easier for you!!!

Of course all this is said with tongue in cheek and with a funny slant to it, and I am now back on track and getting through my tasks efficiently enough for me to be happy.

Time to pick up my son!!!

Sue xx

Friday on my mind..

Yesterday was a long working day for me, and I went directly afterwards to the Open Evening at the Horizon College in Heerhugowaard where Tim wants to do his baking diploma this year. It was interesting talking to the tutor about it all - the costs (!!!!!) and what it entails etc but I still think Tim prefers to do one day school and the rest with a baker so he has to try and find one to take him on!! Been telling him this for so long now already, but y'know kids...they know better and mum is an old fusspot! We went for a Chinese meal afterwards as it was too late to think about cooking really, and that was nice too. Only when we came out, Peter reversed into a lamppost by the restaurant, and just ever so gently 'touched' it ( long Volvo, not much room etc). Unfortunately there was a police car also sitting outside the restaurant so a policewoman came and talked to him about it...........and then breathalyze'd him!!! He had not had much to drink so there was no problem thank goodness and no damage done to car or post so we went on our way!! It would have been so frustrating for him otherwise I imagine. I spoke to Becci in the evening, when I was already in bed! and she sounded as though she could do with some cheering up, so I promised to see whether I could go and visit her soon. I was hoping for this month, but I have too many days to work and I cannot get free when I wanted to go. Disappointing for us both! But March looks better so maybe I can find something then. I will look, Becs!!! What we need are discounts on flights and now!!!!!

Busy day ahead for me so going to take my shower and start it off feeling fresh and dandy!

Sue xx

A good day scrapping

Loes and I worked on her China album today, and I have come home with a large bag full of layouts to make for it!!! At the moment I have more time than she does, and I am glad to be occupied really, so all good. It is so nice just being able to focus on something creative for a day, letting all ones other worries just disappear into the background for a while. Sort of balances out good and bad for me. This afternoon I took Finka for a check-up at the vets but really she just needs to have the eye salve for longer before we think about anti-biotics as she is no worse and it has not had much time to take effect as yet. Tomorrow I am working so that will make the day go by quickly too, and then it is open evening at the college where Tim wants to go this coming autumn. And I decided ( thinking about comments our vet made recently!!!) that I would treat myself to a cut and colour on Saturday morning!! Sort of a birthday treat to myself I suppose. Ah, getting someone else to cut and wash and sort a woman's hair out is something we all enjoy I think! I make such a mess of it when I do it myself - more dye on the towel than in my hair!!! Now, this evening I need to be at choir sooner so I have to 'cut this short' as well, and see to dinner.

Sue xx

Playtime!!

Whilst taking this shot Finka was trying to get hold of my camera cord and Genghis is just watching - rather bemused by her I think! Tim was laying on the settee with her favourite toy, so Finka was racing backwards and forwards over him the whole time!!! Eventually she was exhausted and went to bed! She can move like lightening!!! She has an eye infection and a cold at present so is going back to the vets this afternoon, probably for some anti-biotics as she is still sneezing. It doesn't seem to have dulled her playfulness or her appetite so that is good. She is loving her new bed too - and snuggles under her masses of blankets until you cannot see her any more. I am sure she would have been the Princess and the Pea type if she was anyone from a fairytale!!!

Sue xx

Working day

This morning I worked for a sick colleague, took so long to get there with all the ice etc but it was a good morning. Funnily enough there was a volunteer there too, who was also English, and we had some very useful information exchanges. She was able to tell me quite a lot of new information that I didn't know before, about where to look for work etc. and I also talked to our senior about my job interview, which was also useful to me. He said that they were keen to find something for me within our cluster if it is is at all possible, which I really appreciated hearing, but whether anything will come of it I don't know.............

Do you have someone that you want to tell things to, even if they are painful memories, just so that they can have a better understanding about why you might react so strongly to things that happen to you? I do, and I was glad that I was able to do that today. I think it is so difficult sharing one's vulnerabilities with others - well, for me anyway - that it takes a lot of courage for me to do it. I had a restless feeling inside which sort of told me I needed to unburden and share something, and although it made me feel sad later on, it was the right thing to do. I did not feel judged or mis-understood, only relieved that I had the chance to share it. At the same time it made me have to face up to facets of my character that are not very strong, and question why events that happen to me, do. Do I not defend myself properly? Why do I fear rejection so much? What is it about me that other people think that I can be badly treated and they can get away with it because I don't believe in retaliating? Am I too soft for my own good or is it something from a former life experience that pre-disposes me to needless suffering? Whoa, that is a bit heavy, even for me?!!!! I don't know the answers I guess. And even knowing that this is my weakness, do I want to change it or do I want to accept it is the way I am and only need to learn how to deal with it better in the future? You can see why I need to blog!!!! Confusion reigns supreme in my head right now! I think this is enough philosophizing for one evening folks...................I need to turn my attention to matters closer to home right now. Stick with me on this one - there is still a long way to go!

Sue xx

Thought of the day.

'the life you have led

doesn't need to be the

only life that you have'.

Anna Quinlan.

I can't do this!!!

I am finding it so difficult to ignore the fact that I miss my blogging/writing very, very much! It feels so strange not having my daily 'talk to the airwaves' ( instead of the trees!) and I am feeling terrible about it. I have had such wonderful reactions about my decision to stop writing, that my heart has been warmed up again and I am trying to decide how I can continue with my writing without causing myself even more heartache than I have already suffered. It ought to be possible, surely? I have discussed this with my husband who feels that I ought to continue if it makes me happier, therefore if he is okay with it, then so am I...........as I believe everyone else ought to be too!! Maybe I cannot tell you all that I am feeling or everything that is happening in my little world, like I used to be free to do, but I am going to try and find a middle-way because it is important to me and I want to continue. Thank you for being patient with me this week!!!! :-)

So what's new? Finka has a cold and is enduring eye salve three times a day, much to her irritation. It was so nice yesterday when we took her to our vets as they were curious to see her after what had to happen with Xander. We have an interesting vet! She seems convinced that I have a son who is actually older than me..........and I cannot seem to shake her ideas about this! So I am taking Tim with me on Thursday so that she can probably ask me whether he is my grandson or not....................I find it amusing anyway, and it lightens the day! The worrying part is how old she actually thinks I must be?!!! Time to take action and get some colour back into my hair!

The weather and the black ice yesterday morning caused us so many problems. We were due to be in Alkmaar for 8.45am so that Tim could take his scooter test once more. Because of the snow and black ice on the roads we sat in the traffic for two and a half hours, on a journey that normally takes 39 minutes! We tried phoning the CBR to tell them what was happening but you only get an answer service in Amsterdam that keeps asking you to press in another number, but no human ever comes on the line! We continued on to Alkmaar in the vain hope that Tim would be allowed to take the following exam if someone didn't show up for that either. But no, that is not the system, and the system rules. There was little point in arguing so we eventually spent another 2 hours in the car on the way home, Tim feeling very low and disappointed, and me frustrated for him. However, we are going to try ONCE more, and if he doesn't pass then, he is throwing in the towel!! He is home today with a dreadful cold, and temperature, probably from freezing in the cold yesterday! Such is life, disappointments as well as triumphs, but sometimes the dice does feel rather heavily loaded one way or the other......................

Sue xx