Quiet

Lost in my own thoughts today, sometimes ones that weigh heavily on my mind, sometimes ones for the universe to provide answers to, sometimes ones that are unanswerable and sometimes ones that are simple to ask, and impossible to decide what to do with the conclusions. A little down in mood.
Sue xx

Easy start

Waking up half an hour earlier than normal has its bonuses!! I have had time for breakfast and some tea, to iron Tim's baking clothes for college today, read my mail, potter and take longer in the bathroom! Genghis is outside having his morning prowl - so far no hissing or loud cries from other neighbourhood cats so its quiet on the streets! - and Finka is mewing as she complains that she doesn't know where her furry friend is. My burn is peeling now, which makes it more painful again, so not impressed. It opens it up to irritation and I can feel it as I type, just being tender again. It's part of the healing process so I have to accept it, but I do wish I had a large soft plaster to go over it this morning!!
Nothing much more to add, and my time is fast running out as we approach 7.30am. I am better prepared for the coldness of our woodwork section and have got my coat out so that when we are wandering the town this afternoon following our paper trail, I will still be warm and toasty. This time of year is ideal for catching colds ( Tim sneezes on cue ) so best to wrap up and drink more tea - or coffee!!
Sue xx

Looking forward

"Every small, positive change

we make in ourselves

repays us in confidence

in the future."

{ alice walker }

I am hoping that this is what I am going to discover within myself during the course I am beginning next month. The fact that it is getting closer is making me look more at what I have actually signed up to do.........and one of the things is writing essays about myself!! Not my favourite past-time to be frank, but unavoidable and something I need to get used to all over again. As a therapist I used to be involved heavily in reflective practice and supervision and I suppose that is what it boils down to here; looking at what one does, how one reacts in situations, what one feels or says, how one learns from one's actions....how the past affects current and future choices and decisions. Am I ready for all that?! Not sure, but it is a positive opportunity to change things within myself that perhaps need to be changed, take stock of what is good and improve and value that more, and learn to love myself for the person I am and not the person I imagine I ought to be. The last one is the hardest. Maybe that is where my focus should lie if  I am to be any good at all this one day. 

I learnt something about myself today at work. I was to work in a group situation that was new to me, even though I knew all the clients and it was within my usual workplace. I had not expected it and it was just a given when I saw that my colleague had left notes for the coming fortnight addressed to me!!! I was a little unsure for the first part of the morning, but as the day wore on, I realised that I can handle it just fine, and so long as no-one expects me to use any of the machinery, we are all going to be okay!! I did try to use an electric screwdriver but I was not at all offended when my colleague told me my client was better with it than me; it was the plain truth, that's all. But they were really helpful, and did everything possible to support 'the new girl' and ensure we did all we needed to do, so here's to the coming 7 days of sawdust and noise, paper and boxes, and 'my guys' getting it all just right! I am sure they will, I know they can, and I will just do my best not to get anything wrong. When they suggested that it was probably best to let them tow the cart around the town tomorrow whilst I just walked beside them, I knew they understood exactly what my role is to be!! ..Nice lady who sings as they work!!!!;-)

Sue xx

I guess this is why Tim wants to go to America!!!!

The lovely girl in the forefront of the picture, spread across the other two dancers, is his girlfriend!!!
Sue xx

My sixth sense is alive and kicking!!!

Picture son standing before me at 6.45 this morning. I know he wants to ask something because he always just stands first and the cogs are whirling in his brain but nothing is coming out of his mouth! I tell him I know he wants to ask me something, and just to tell it to me. He says he needs time to think about how to say it. I say I already know what he is going to ask. He, disbelieving, says I cannot possibly know this. I assure him I can and do! He starts to open his mouth and I say ' you want to ask whether you can go to America and study if it is possible'. Son's jaw drops wide open, eyes astonished...'how did you know that?!!' he says. I tell him his mother is a witch and she knows things before anyone else!!! ;-)
Then follows discussion about ' would you have any objection to me going to America for say, three months or longer, because Jacky's father knows a way to do it, maybe?' I ask all kinds of questions to which he gets irritated and says I am being melodramatic and he only asked one thing, would I mind!! I say, there are conditions attached and all kinds of information that has to be found out about, but by now he is not happy because I am being sensible and realistic about it all, and he just wants to hear ' you can go.'
HELP!!!
It is too early in the morning to be confronted with this sort of thing, and I am trying to be calm and reasonable without discouraging his optimism, but at the same time knowing that this is what we call a 'shot in the dark.' Oh dear, when does it get easier please?
Sue xx

When you just know........

......there are not going to be enough hours in your day to achieve all you have thought of in your head!!
First things first though; we woke up to a warm house!!! Hurray! So nice, and not too toasty that I didn't want to leave our bed but just warm enough to encourage me downstairs. And upstairs. And the attic. And down again, and back up...exhausted! I am glad of the huge attic space as it is ideal for drying the mountain of washing facing me this morning, but it is the two flights of stairs that I hate, carrying the ironing up and down afterwards. So I am having a little break before I do more. Though in between I have painted another coat over the door thresholds and they look much better already. Cats are stepping neatly over them without any trouble, and we are just going to have to 'watch our step'!!
It is misty and damp outside at the moment. A day to stay home really and indulge in nice things, but I want to get some stuff organised before the week ahead starts as I am working every day. And that's why the crush of hours today is so frustrating!! But hey, there's always my skype date to look forward to AND my sentimental film time this evening. Life is good!!
Sue xx

really nice day.

Ann and I have had a lovely day out together in Deventer today. I got brave and drove there myself which actually went really well! We took the 'back route' as it were, avoiding the major motorways and Amsterdam, but it was quiet on the roads and we did just fine. Pat on the back!! The town was not too busy and we were able to potter slowly and do what we wanted to, in the time that we had allotted, and despite the occasional shower of rain, it was a pleasant autumnal day. We went to visit my mother-in-law before leaving for home again, and I was very happy to see her and my sister and brother- in-law as well. It was a good surprise that they came round, so thank you guys for doing that. It was good to hear about everyone in the family and catch up with their things and just feel I was in touch with them again.
The drive home went well but it was horrible weather and there were the most awesome rain clouds over the Isselmeer as we drove across the dyke. People were even stopping to take pictures! It made such a difference having Ann in the car beside me, reading the directions and just chit-chatting away, and it didn't seem to take the time it used to, to get there. A stress-free day!!
Getting back home and relaxing has been the only thing I needed to do so now I am going to take that a step further and go to bed. I plan to enjoy my Sunday and get ready for the week of work that is ahead of me. You too?
Sue xx

Mishaps continue to dog my day.....

So nice heating man came and gave me a swish round thermostat that does nothing more than the old one, just looks prettier!! And the temperature difference between the two was 2C so hopefully we will now be warmer! I had a quick lesson in how to save energy, whilst he was enjoying coffee and one of Tim's pastries, and hopefully we can now manage without the expense of buying a new one.
Meanwhile I was busy painting the thresholds downstairs, and of course, today being today, I managed to drop the top of hoover onto one of them leaving a million cat hairs stuck in the wet paint!!! How to get rid of them - anyone?!!! I was annoyed to say the least. But on the positive side, my Roasted Onion and Pepper and Carrot Soup is smelling delicious! A little known recipe, having made it up as I went along this morning, but edible, so that is fine!! My fingernails are a little orange still, from peeling off the skins but since they now have paint scrapes under them as well, who is looking?.................
11.48am..............8 minutes to go!!! ;-)
Sue xx

careless, sleepless...

Being only half awake this morning is proving to have it's pitfalls! Not only did I press 'reject' on the mobile whilst intending to press 'accept', but I have gone on to nicely burn my arm whilst putting the iron away and that hurts!! The dear boy was still jabbering away at 2.15 this morning, and the thin wall between us and him is exactly that - thin! So I was party to the skype conversation in the room next door which didn't thrill me one little bit! So I sent him a text......which accidentally went to someone else.......so then I had to apologise quickly and send it again to Tim.........and before I knew it I was hearing the alarm going off and needing to get up! The heating man can come at any time after 8am so despite the fact that he probably won't appear until 12.00 I have to be ready for the 4 hours in between. And my head hurts, and I need to go and eat breakfast now or else my blood sugar level is going to zero out before too long............
Sue xx