I think my head must have been screwed on backwards yesterday because when I came down this morning I found that the cats dirt box was facing the wrong way round!!! Finka had been desperate to go during the night and had pooped in the hanging mats on the radiator which was the most sensible place actually, as I found it immediately and threw them in the washing machine!!! I have never done this in my life!! I find it even hard to imagine that I did it and didn't notice I had done it when I washed the floor..........so it must have been like it for hours............am I losing my marbles finally?!!
I guess yesterday was a terribly difficult and emotional day for me. I am so distraught about so many things right now, and my emotions feel very raw and near the surface. I felt lonely and sad and scared and worried and invisible to others and I still do this morning, so it is going to be a long day. Sometimes things just hit you, and the reality of a situation is more than you can bear, and fighting the urge to give in to it and sob your socks off is so difficult. I am a very private person and showing how I feel is something I reserve for only one or two people in my life. Writing my blog is my cathartic process - a sort of external and distant journalling that allows me to sometimes shed my burdens and let them go. Even so, it is just the tip of the iceberg that gets written about, and everything that is hidden in the murky depths below, stays well protected from above! Luckily I have my music, and that helps when I want to think about something other than myself, as I can just get my ipod and block out the world!!!
Well, that was my Sunday morning pep talk to myself so now I have to get up and attack the rest of the day in a more calm and serene manner so that I can fool everyone that I am doing fine. That's the way it works, right?
Sue xx
No comments:
Post a Comment